Connor D. Carter, 14

Connor D. Carter, 14, of Lancaster, passed away on December 18, 2008.He was the son of  Dr. William A. and Barbara M. Wenrich Carter.

Connor was a ninth grade student at Hempfield High School, where he was a member of the football team. He had a big interest in mathematics and the sciences.

Connor’s loves included his family and friends, unicycling, football, science, loud sneakers, and gourmet food-not necessarily in that order, and often all at the same time. His personality towered over his 6 foot stature, and he readily befriended people and animals of all ages. He also had a great interest in all kinds of cars, sharing that interest with his dad.

He was known for his good sense of humor, his desire to make other people happy, and seeing the good qualities in others. His concern and thoughtfulness for others will continue on through his donation to those in need through the Gift Of Life Program.

Connor was a member of Hempfield United Methodist Church, where he was active in the SHOUT ministry.

In addition to his parents, Connor is survived by his brothers David Nauman and Nathan  married to Rose Carter, all of Lancaster; his sisters Amanda Nauman of Baltimore and Paige Carter of Mt. Joy; and by several aunts, uncles, cousins, and 2 nephews.

Relatives and friends are invited to attend the memorial services for Connor on Monday, December 22nd at 10AM at Hempfield United Methodist Church, 3050 Marietta Ave., Lancaster, PA with the Rev. Dr. Keith Braucher officiating. Interment will be private. Please omit flowers, making contributions in Connor’s memory to the Humane League of Lancaster County, 2195 Lincoln Hwy East, Lancaster, PA 17602, or to the Hempfield School District Scholarship Fund, 200 Church St., Landisville, PA 17538 to establish a scholarship fund  in Connor’s memory focusing on the sciences and math. Arrangements by the Charles F. Snyder Funeral Home and Chapel, Lititz 560-5100. To send an online condolence, please visit

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Dear Dr. Carter and Mrs. Carter,
I just learned of your son, Connor’s passing from a dear friend who called to let me know. My heart sank as I soaked this in. A childhood friend, out here in San Diego, just lost their 17 year old son in a car accident Dec. 5th, and I know their grief is still overwhelming. Only through their faith, and belief in God’s perfect plan, are they able to be comforted and feel a sense of peace.  The sermon in church on Sunday was about being "Eternally Secure", and I hope this verse will help to comfort you, as well. ~ "My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one." John 10: 27-30 ~ Connor must have been an exceptional young man for the Lord to long to bring him home so soon! Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, that God will cover you with a peace that only He can give, that transcends all human understanding.
Debra Seaburg (Patient)
San Diego, CA

Dear Barb and Bill,
We were so very sorry to hear of the death of your very special son.
God bless you and your family and keep you in his care.
Myrl and Bob Sherk

Dear Bill and Barb,
        My thoughts and prayers are with you in this time of great sorrow. However, when I think of Connor, I think of the beautiful baby who looked like he was wearing a bad wig, and can’t help but smile. He was such a terrific young man and touched so many. He will always be fondly remembered.
You are in my prayers.
Amy Hart

My daughter Heather Hollow was a classmate of Conners. When the school called to tell us the news of Connors passing, my heart sank. As a parent I can’t imagine sorrow that you must be feeling. I pray that the Lord comforts you in this time of need. Heather has nothing but good things to say about Conner. She was deeply sadden by Connors passing. Heather attended SHOUT with Connor so I know that he knew the Lord and that he is in heaven. May the knowledge that some day you will be together again be what gives you strength to get through this.
God bless you,
Tom, Deb, and Heather Hollow

Dear Barb and Bill:  You and your family have our sincerest and deepest sympathy in the loss of Connor.  My heart aches for you.  You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Patti, Ian, Sam and Andrew Short

Dear Barb and Bill,
We are so sorry to hear about your beloved son Connor.  You must have been proud of this fine young man.  You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.  May God bless all of you with healing in your time of need.
With sincere condolences,
Stephanie and Michael Clay

I am so sorry for the loss of your son. My daughter attended shout and was a classmate with Connor.  She spoke highly of him.  May the Lord wrap his arms around your family and help you heal from your loss. I have found this poem and I hope you will find a little comfort in it. God Bless your family and may Connor’s gift of life live on in others. 

Just for today I will try to live through the next 24 hours
and not expect to get over my child’s death,
but instead learn to live with it, just one day at a time.

Just for today I will remember my child’s life, not just his death,
and bask in the comfort of all those treasured days
and moments we shared.

Just for today I will forgive all the family and friends
who didn’t help or comfort me the way I needed them to.
They truly did not know how.

Just for today I will smile no matter how much I hurt on the inside,
for maybe if I smile a little,
my heart will soften and I will begin to heal.

Just for today I will reach out to comfort a relative or friend of my child,
for they are hurting too,
and perhaps we can help each other.

Just for today I will free myself from my self-inflicted burden of guilt,
for deep in my heart I know if there was anything in this world
I could of done to save my child from death,
I would of done it.

Just for today I will honor my child’s memory
by doing something with another child
because I know that would make my own child proud.

Just for today I will offer my hand in friendship
to another bereaved parent
for I do know how they feel.

Just for today when my heart feels like breaking,
I will stop and remember that grief is the price we pay for loving
and the only reason I hurt is because
I had the privilege of loving so much

Just for today I will not compare myself with others.
I am fortunate to be who I am
and have had my child for as long as I did.

Just for today I will allow myself to be happy,
for I know that I am not deserting him by living on.

Just for today I will accept that I did not die when my child did,
my life did go on,
and I am the only one who can make that life worthwhile once more.

Mother of Amethyst

Dear Dr. and Mrs. Carter,
   We are good friends of Gale and Ed McCullough.  We extend our sympathies to you and your family during this time of great loss.  May our Great God be near you. 
   Sincerely yours,  Merle and Elsie Eisenmann, Cissna Park, IL

My husband and I would like to express our deepest sympathy on the loss of your precious son. Our thoughts and prayers will be with you in the days ahead!
Linda and Bob Zunner
11 crystal drive

Oh my God my heart is broken for you Barb and you Bill.   But you must keep focus on one thing.  Connor is in heaven, as all children.   That means he is very happy, very happy!  What  wonderful place to be….gold lined streets, no pain, no heartache, just a perfect place to love one another and to love GOD!   Sometimes God allows events to happen to bring us unto God the Father.  To wake us up if you will.  God wants our love in every sense of that word!  Yes, this is a tough way to do it.  But you MUST concentrate on Connor being happy right now and that Connor wouldn’t want you to mourn or be sad for him.  Connor is in heaven and all the beauty and joy that a place could have!  All children go to heaven!!!    So be happy for him, but of course grieve for yourselves and the loss of him, but he is up there.  You can talk to him every chance you can get.  He’ll hear you!  There is joy in that.  Yes the intense pain that you feel right now will seem insurmountable.  But you will get that.  Just trust in God,  our heavenly father and ask for peace and  compassion about this….Concentrate on Connor being happy instead of feeling our extreme loss.  When we love someone intensely, you want what is best for that person.   Do dwell on that.   We wish we could take the hurt away.   Just smile in the respect that heaven is a much better place and we are here on earth. You will get through this with hope from friends like us and truly love you Bill and Barbara.   We ache for you and want you to know that we truly love you both.  We need to look at Connor now.  Happy! and Content! You are in our every though of every day!    Barb & Bill we hope you know how much Ed and I (Nancy) love you.  And we are here for you, even wanting a time to talk to let you know how it was when we both lost the "Love’s of Our Lifes " and if anyone can get this knife-stabbing pain you feel in your heart, we’ll be there to cry with you, to talk about Connor to you, just anything that will bring a smile to  your beautiful faces!  We love you both and will be at your sides at the memorial service.  Now there is nothing Ed and I (nancy) would not do for you to make this all a minute’ better. We know the interm is private, but hope you would include us at the interm to put our arms around you and support and love you both!  You will get through this with help from people who truly know what death can mean.   Not an end to Connor but a beginning of love for him…knowing he is very happy now.
With much love and warmth 2 people could ever have for you. 
Much love, Nancy & Ed Leiby. Will write more later.  XO  XO  XO  ZO

Dear Dr. Carter and Barb,  We are so very sorry and saddened to hear of the great loss you have suffered of your precious and wonderful son, Connor.  You are in our thoughts and prayers continually.  The Lord is very close to those whose hearts are breaking. We pray that our dear Sacred Heart of Jesus will wrap you in His great, loving arms, and hold you so very, very tightly, and never let you go, as He grants you the Grace and Strength to bear this unbearable loss when you are able.   
Sincerely, Carol & Pete Sebergandio

Dear Bill, Barb & family,
I was so sorry to hear of your loss.  Just want to assure you there are many prayers and thoughts with you.  I will continue to pray for your family.
Kathy Gotshall
(Former secretary – LGH Residency Program)

Bill and Barbara, I’m sure there are no words which can console you at this time. Hopefully knowing so many people are thinking of you and praying for your comfort will help.
Tim Tymon

(we met @ a dinner program with Chandra)

To The Carter Family:
We have just heard of your tragic loss. We are so sorry !!! Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Gail and Jim Via

we are deeply saddened to hear about connor. our prayers and thoughts are with you.
merle and rick weismer

We pray for your family and are deeply saddened for all.  Please know that your family will not carry this burden alone, because we are all less by the loss of Connor.
The Loving Links of Salem United Methodist Church, Manheim, PA

Dear Barb and Bill,
When I finally realized what I was reading in the newspaper, my heart went out to you and your family.  I can only imagine the sense of loss and grief you are experiencing.  Please know that my prayers are with you.  Life is so precious and fleeting.  May God bless you in special ways as you go through this difficult time.
With love,
Judith Gibble-Kipp

Dear Billy and Barb,  I’m Nancy Osgood, whom you most likely remember from my days at Planned Parenthood.  I am so sorry to hear of such a great loss in your family…although I did not know Connor…I do know you two and believe he was an exceptional young man with great promise.  I can not possibly know what it is like to lose a child and one so young at that, but did want you to know that you have my sincere sympathy and are being remembered in my thoughts and prayers.

Dear Bill and Barbara,
    We are so deeply saddened for the loss of your beautiful son.  No parents on earth should ever lose a child.  Please know that all of you are in our prayers.
Gale and Ed
Cissna Park, Il.

Dear Bill and Barb,
Tess and I hope that your years of family practice and the compassion you have shown to others sustains you through this terrible loss. My younger brother died suddenly two weeks ago, and his loss left a huge emotional void in our family, but his memories help us all.  We hope the same for you both.     
Bill and Tessie Hunt

Dear Bill and Barb,
Our thoughts are with you at this time of extreme sadness. There are no words that can take away the hurt, but please know that you and your family are in our prayers.
Jean & Randy Hess

Dear Bill and Barbara  My heart aches for you and the loss of your son.  It appears he was a very gifted young man with a great deal of potential.  Bill I was with a group of people the other night from our E-town days and we all were saddened for you.  You have such a gift of helping others and you were so great with all of our young patients at E-town.  Truly God must have some other plan for your son. 
Fondly Eileen Tymon

Our sympathy is with you and your family for the loss of Connor
 Bobbie and Danny Hince

Dear Bill, Barb, and Family,
You are in our thoughts and prayers. We will always remember Connor’s fun-loving personality and beautiful smile.
The Bosch’s

Our prayers go out to you at this time. We were shocked to hear of the loss of your son Conner. You have been there for us Dr. Carter for a number of years through all the
problems with my migraines and our son’s adhd. You are and were more to us then a doc….. a valued friend. We are so sorry but truly understand your loss, as we have been in your shoes some 10 years ago with my son Justin. It is ironic that it was also Dec.18th of 1998 and he was also an organ donor. Please forgive us for not attending or being able to participate in the service, but in your time and in God’s may he lead you to call us or come to visit us. God will help to lift you up at this time and you will feel his strength in the weeks ahead and also feel his peace. Please reach out to him, God, and let him help you and anyone else that may offer.
Our prayers are with you at this time, and God Bless you.
You can always call us:
Bill and Deb Aberts

Bill and Barb: We can’t tell you how sorry we are to hear of the tragedy of losing your son Connor. We hope that you can find comfort in all the wonderful times you had together as a family. We pray that God can give you strength to get through this difficult time.
Jay and Marlene Faus.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.  Our daughter, Taylor Muir, was in gym class with Connor and is also active in the SHOUT ministry at HUMC.   On Monday of this week they spoke about his surgery.  She said they often rode the bikes next to each other and he always made her laugh.  She shared his fondness of "loud" sneakers because she too likes unusual sneakers.  Barbara, a few years back I came to see you for several months when Taylor was having difficulty.  I remember during our sessions hearing you talk about your children.  I know, from listening to you talk, that your children brought you much joy.  May God give you the strength that you need during the days ahead. 
With Sympathy,
Jamie, Allyson and Taylor Muir

Barb and Bill:
Larry and I want to express our heartfelt deepest sympathy.  We will be thinking of you through this tragic time. 
If there is anything we can do, please let us know.
Terri and Larry McCloskey

Dear Bill and Barb,
   Our hearts go out to you over the loss of this dear boy and fine young man.  From the time Dorothy and I first met Connor at Lake Winnipesaukee, we were both struck by what a nice kid–no, what a truly good human being–he was.   
   God bless you both,
   Kevin & Dorothy Cullinan

Dr. Carter & Barbara,
     Words cannot express the sorrow that I feel for the 2 of you. Although I did not know Connor, I know the 2 of you. If he was anything like his parents (and I am sure that he was), he was a wonderful young man. Both of my kids go to the high school, and although they did not know Connor very well, they have friends who did. Those friends confirmed that he was a tremendous young man. Even though our relationship has been established primarily on a business level, I felt that it went a lot deeper than that. I sincerely like the 2 of you as people & I believe that both of you feel the same towards me. That is why my heart is so heavy as I write this. I don’t believe that we have ever gotten into any discussions over the years about spiritual beliefs. I will share with you that I am a person who has a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Even though we haven’t discussed it over the years, my impression is that the 2 of you share that same personal relationship with Christ. If you do, please lean on Him through this very difficult time. He loves both of you & your whole family very much. He & only Him can/will meet your needs at this time. However, I do want to share with you that if there is anything that I can do for the 2 of you, please don’t hesitate to ask. If Christ can use me to help accomplish His purposes in your life, I want to be available. I have been & will continue to pray for your family.
Your Friend,
Brian Hickey
Psalm 33:22
May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you.

I did not know Connor, but am grateful to have benefited from being one of Dr. Carter’s patients in the past.  Although there are no words that will provide comfort during this tragedy, my prayer is that Connor’s family will soon feel God’s hand in their lives providing peace and solace the way only He can.
"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7
Debi Violante

Dear Bill, Barb, and family,
Sending our deepest condolences on your loss…our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Lauri Snyder & Fred Himmelstein

To the Carter Family ;
I know it’s an extremely hard time but try to remember all of the wonderful things Connor left in this world. He impacted my life so much, and I didn’t know him extremely well. His smile lit up the room, no matter what. He always had a special way of making every single person feel better. I can’t even imagine what your family is going through right now, but just know now that Connor is your guardian angel. He’ll always be watching over you and helping you through life. My thoughts and prayers are with you always. Hang in there, Connor would want you all to smile. I’ll be at his memorial on Monday.
Hang in there.

Dear Bill and Barb,
     We are so very sorry for the loss of your precious son, Conner.  We can only pray that God will wrap His loving arms around you and comfort you today and all the days that follow. 
Dennis, Jill, DJ, Dan and Dave Habig

You have my deepest sympathy.  I will continue to pray for you and your family.  Please know that you are being thought of through this very difficult and tragic time in your lives.  Take care and God bless you all.
Shannon Povich

Connor Carter was like no other person i knew. He was my first friend when I came into middle school and he always had an answer for everything. Connor and I along with many school mates walked home from school almost everyday. We all connected and learned a lot about one another. Connor to me was the wisest, most confident, athletic, intellectual, caring, kind, sweet, and the most happy person i’ve ever met. His smile could make even the most depressed girl/guy/animal forget about sadness and replace any sadness with an infinite happiness. His love for his friends, pets, and family made realize that Connor knew how to live life, and that meant that he knew that to really live life you must learn to love your surroundings. I’ll always remember Connor Carter as my friend, my peer, the reason we have what we call…a smile.  Rest in Peace and God Bless You

With a heavy heart and head bowed in prayer for all of you and Connor –
Julie Brown

You may of heard of us or may not have, unfortunately we share something in common; the death of our sons during this time of year. I know this is a very rough time for you and the grief is overwhelming. My heart aches for your whole family and the suffering you are going through. Be strong for yourselves, take time to give yourselves care. Don’t forget the love of your family & friends during this time. I have left the Gift of Life & the funeral home know that you may call us, anytime for an understanding ear that knows what you are going through.
Our hearts ache with yours,
The Kamm Family (Windi, Andy & Zoya)

Dear Bill and Barb,  Please know that our prayers, love, and friendship are with you during this time of  agony and unimaginable loss.  We type words and delete them, because it is hard to find the words to describe the level of sympathy we feel for you both. We want you to know, most importantly, that you had a terrific son, because of your influence, as very good parents to Connor! I (Susie) remember you guys calling Connor from the office after school to check on him, and thinking to myself, how despite being focused on work, your first priority was always Connor. You helped him, with great parental finesse, go from an awkward pre-teen to a  self confident, mature, caring young man. We wish you healing and comfort with prayers and the memories you will cherish forever.
Love, Susie, Joe, Julie, and John Spurlock

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your son. Many thoughts and prayers are with you as you grieve. May God hold you in the palm of His hands.
With sincere sympathy.
Janice Herman

Dear Dr. & Mrs. Carter,
I was deeply saddened to hear of the loss of your son.  You will all be in my thoughts and prayers at this most difficult time.
Marianne Sena
(Patient of Dr. Carter)

Barb, Bill and Family,
You are in our thoughts and prayers.  May God wrap his arms around your family during this time of sorrow.
Karen, Dave, Eric, Joshua and Stephanie Rittenhouse

Dr.& Mrs. Carter,
We are so sorry for your loss. Please know that Connor and your family are and will continue to be in our thoughts & prayers!
In deepest Sympathy,
Ivory Vail Nutter & Susannah Vail

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Carter,
We were all saddened to hear that your son had passed away at such a very young age.  A few women in my prayer group have kids who attend HHS and let us know of Connor’s passing.  I’m sorry for your grief and pain. We will continue to pray for your family and Connor’s friends who will miss him to such a huge extent.  Hopefully you will once again find comfort and peace in the Lord Jesus Christ and know that turning to Him will get you through all of your days.  I am so very sorry for what you all are enduring right now.
Blessings to your family,
A fellow Hempfield resident

The Carter Family,
I am a freshman at Hempfield High School and have known Connor since 1st grade. Connor was the happiest, funniest, most confident, and nicest person I have ever met. There wasn’t a moment where he didn’t make me laugh or smile. He was a great guy. I will never forget the last conversation I had with him or when he rode his unicycle across the stage at the talent show in 8th grade. I know for a fact that I will never forget him and I miss him so much. I am keeping Connor, his family, and his friends in my thoughts and prayers. I am truly sorry for your loss.
-Megan Ryan

Dear Barb and Bill,
   Our hearts go out to you.  We are thinking of and praying for your family at this time.  Please know that your son’s memory will live on in your hearts as well as those he touched. He was a wonderful student and member of the Centerville Middle School community. May God bless and keep you.
Chris and Steve Blair and family

Barb and Bill,
I can’t even imagine what you are going through. You have had a stunning loss.  I will remember Connor as a charming, enthusiastic, mature young man.  Please know that your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Karen Roberts

Barb and Bill,
There are no words left to say I am sure.  But the both of you just have to know that our hearts and prayers are with you and the family.
We are just so stunned at the news, after just seeing you both and Connor last week in a happy atmosphere.
You will heal, and when you want to talk we are here. 
Love and prayers,
Judy and Fred

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