Ashley Palmer-Neratko, 40

September 13, 2025

It is with dread and sorrow that I share that Ashley Palmer-Neratko passed away at 10:28 p.m. on September 13, 2025, after a long illness. Ashley was born on November 28, 1984, and grew up in Dunkirk, New York. She was the most wonderful person in the world, and her absence leaves life forever changed. Yet even in our grief, we honor the life she built, the love she gave, and the knowledge she so passionately pursued and shared.

Her dedication to learning carried her through even the hardest times. Despite years of serious illness, Ashley fought to earn her bachelor’s degree in anthropology from SUNY Oswego. She went on to become an honor student in the master’s program in history at SUNY Brockport. She never let her health struggles stop her from pursuing the ideas and questions that mattered to her. For Ashley, learning was not only about achievement, it was about discovery, dignity, and the joy of understanding the world. She was curious about history, culture, and people, and always sought to understand more. Her love of knowledge was rooted in her sense that ideas and people are connected.

She carried this same devotion into her love of animals, especially her pugs, Pigeon and Scarlet, who both recently passed away, and Quasar, her best friend in the world. All three pugs were her shadows and confidants. Their bond was a testament to the way she gave and received love: steadfast, unbroken, and unconditional. Ashley’s life was not easy, but it was radiant. She met hardship with grit and illness with courage and still found ways to laugh, joke, and to notice beauty in unexpected places. She loved music that was complex and challenging and demanded full attention, like The Mars Volta’s Deloused in the Comatorium or Modest Mouse’s This Is a Long Drive for Someone with Nothing to Think About. To listen to those albums now is to sit with her spirit, a mixture of chaos and beauty, intensity and tenderness.

Surprisingly, Ashley was also a huge basketball fan, having watched more than the last 1,000 Celtics games. She was especially proud of #11, Payton Pritchard, admiring how he overcame physical limitations to become the NBA’s Sixth Man of the Year. What made Ashley remarkable was not only what she endured, but how she chose to live. She never stopped questioning. She never stopped caring. She never stopped learning. She taught the rest of us what it means to hold on tightly to life even when it hurts, to keep one’s humor sharp, and to keep one’s love fierce. She is survived by her husband and best friend, Steve; her loyal pug Quasar; and her family, including her mom, Carol Palmer; sisters Amy, Kelly, Kyle, and Lauren; and extended relatives who cherished her. She was preceded in death by her beloved pugs, Pigeon and Scarlet, as well as her dad, David Palmer.

In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made in Ashley’s memory to either the Autoimmune Encephalitis Alliance or the International Autoimmune Encephalitis Society, both of which support patients and families facing this rare illness. For those who prefer a more personal tribute, planting a fruit tree for wild animals would also be a meaningful way to honor Ashley’s life and her love for all living things. Ashley was, simply, amazing. That truth will remain with us forever.