Thinking No Funeral? Think Again.

October 24, 2024

Share this article

Maybe you’ve said it, or thought it? “I don’t need a funeral. You can just bury me in the backyard”. That’s the male version of negating the need for a funeral. But the sentiment is not unique to men. Women just say it differently. “I don’t want you to make a fuss. I don’t need a funeral.” These folks are right. The person who died doesn’t need a funeral. They just need a legal, respectful disposal of their body. It’s the people who are left to do the work of grieving that need the support and community from a funeral.

 

Princess Diana, Michael Jackson, Aretha Franklin, John McCain, and most recently Kobe Bryant, didn’t need the memorials, teddy bears, or flowers. We needed them. We need to be a part of acknowledging the loss. We find comfort in being able to be a part of the service that honors their lives even when our part is just being an observer via television. We are comforted, in some measure, just by being able to observe.

 

It is human nature to seek community in times of trouble and in times of joy. People are pack animals. We don’t live in isolation. We touch the lives of others. We celebrate birth with family and friends. We celebrate the coming together of two people in marriage as a group. We hold each other’s hand in times of tragedy. When we express our caring feelings, it is not weakness. It’s our strength. We are human beings, we care.

 

Having the opportunity to express our feelings is not expected to “cure” our grief.  Coming together does not provide closure. The door never really closes on the love one human being has for another. Coming together, expressing our feelings in the presence of our community, are steps in the healing process. Being able to express our feelings in a safe, accepting environment provides some measure of healing.

 

Grief in the early days is raw. As time passes it softens. The hard edges become rounded and we begin to find the joy we had with the one we loved in our memories.  Grief is hard work. It’s a journey.

 

Why should anyone have to begin this journey alone?

 

Recent Posts

January 9, 2026
Summary: The median cost of a funeral with viewing and burial is about $8,300, according to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA).
December 11, 2025
Gifts that please, surprise, are useful, and don’t break the bank are hard to come by.   So, here’s one that no one will see coming. What if you could give the gift of being prepared? You can.   All you have to do is call the funeral home and get on the schedule to speak to the preneed person/advance funeral planner. Just get all your questions answered. Get a plan written and on file at the funeral home. That way everyone knows who to call, what to do, and maybe even how it’s all going to be paid for when the time comes.   Does your family need this gift? Here’s a test. When you order a pizza does everyone want the same toppings? If your family takes a bit to decide or you always order half this and half that, a funeral plan will be a terrific gift. If your family is blended, then absolutely this is a perfect gift. If yours is a second marriage, for sure they’ll all appreciate this gift one day. Even if your kids are all equally successful, agree on everything, and belong to the same church, they will still love this gift!   No one will expect your gift of a completed funeral plan. No one will need the receipt to return your gift. Your gift will not be too big, too small, too out of style, or re-gifted. It will absolutely be used someday. It will be appreciated.   www.snyderfuneralhome.com
November 6, 2025
There are a million ways to say thank you. Great or small they all have value.   Decide to always just say thank you whenever you see a person in uniform. When you see a person in uniform at the coffee shop or fast food restaurant pick up their tab if you can. At the airport trade your first class or comfort seat for their standard seat If you have a neighbor who is deployed offer to play catch with the kids or mow the lawn. Ask how you can help Send a care package by contacting Operation Gratitude Donate your old cell phone Drive a Veteran to their doctor appointments (contact the hospital services coordinator at the local VA hospital) Write a letter Volunteer at a VA hospital If you run a business hire a veteran – Hire Heroes USA Donate dollars or time to train service dogs for veterans – Patriot Paws or Puppy Jake Foundation Build a house for a veteran – Building Homes for Heroes   Big dollars or only a few dollars, lots of time or only a little time, where there is a will there is a way to say thank you to those who serve in our military.   www.snyderfuneralhome.com
October 9, 2025
The Funeral Home is the best resource for understanding veterans death benefits.
September 4, 2025
The term “green funeral” refers to ceremony, service, and body disposition that focuses on preservation of the earth. Many of those who live “green” also wish to end “green”. Just as living green is carried out in different ways and with many choices, there are also many different methods of having a green funeral. Your funeral director is your best guide to the green funeral options available in your geographic area.
August 7, 2025
“I was very surprised at my reaction. Seeing John in his casket wasn’t something I was looking forward to. His daughter (from his first marriage) really wanted an open casket.  So, I agreed. Mostly just to remain on good terms with my stepdaughter. He looked so peaceful. He had a Mona Lisa smile. I am so glad I didn’t stick to what he and I had talked about. The opportunity for that last good good-bye ended up meaning the world to me… and his daughter.”   Many long-standing funeral practices, like viewing the deceased, are undervalued today.  Perhaps we should think again? Maybe go slowly? Allow for individual family members to say goodbye in a way that is most meaningful to them.   There is a value to “seeing” the deceased. If you doubt that value think about what happens when there is a sudden, unexpected death. Body recovery is high on everyone’s list. Seeing is believing. Some family members may find an opportunity to see the deceased helpful. Some, like the woman who wrote the opening quote, may be surprised at the comfort the opportunity to see the person they love at peace brings.   The funeral director is there to guide you. Ask questions. How can we give my grandson an opportunity to see his grandfather? What if some family do not wish to see dad? Mom didn’t want an open casket but some of us would like an opportunity to see her one last time. What can we do?   Funeral directors are always willing and able to allow for individual family differences. A daughter who prefers not to view the body and grandson who would very much appreciate an opportunity for a face to face farewell. One need not exclude the other. Funeral directors have solutions. When you meet with yours, be open. Share your family’s needs and ask questions.   www.snyderfuneralhome.com
July 10, 2025
A husband and father of four dies suddenly. He languishes in the morgue at the coroner’s office for weeks because no one knows what to do and no one is empowered to act. The only thing the kids and grandchildren can agree on is that their father did not want to spend a lot of money on a funeral.
June 5, 2025
Back in the day, before embalming was wide-spread, flowers surrounded the casket and perfumed the air. Today, it is no longer necessary to have flowers scent the air. And yet, there is something comforting about the presence of flowers at a funeral.
May 1, 2025
Choose a cremation provider. Decide on a “closing” ceremony. Choose a final resting place.
April 3, 2025
Death and taxes (seemingly unlikely bed fellows at first glance) are often linked together because they have long been considered unavoidable life events. Some even say they are the only two things that are certain in life. Neither is something people typically look forward to, but they are both events that are anticipated and can be prepared for in advance.
Show More