Obituaries

Friedarika “Frieda” Margaretha Elizabetha Mahler Halfaker, 100

January 02, 2014

Friedarika “Frieda” Margaretha Elizabetha Mahler Halfaker, 100, passed away Thursday January 2nd in Lancaster, PA at the Mennonite Home. Frieda was born to Ida (Balzerick) and Wilhelm Mahler June 9, 1913 on a farm in Burton, IL.

Frieda’s life was difficult. Her path was not smooth yet she rode through the struggles with her “rose colored glasses”. Frieda was always on the sunny side of life, full of joy, faith, and trust that everything will come out right. Even on the darkest days of her life, Frieda saw that the sky was blue, the grass was green and love was always present. When asked about her faith, she simply spoke, “God is love”.

The oldest of 12 children, Frieda attended school through the 5th grade and left home when she was 12 to care for her Grandmother. When her Grandfather passed away two years later, Frieda’s grandmother went elsewhere for care and she returned home to start a business class in high school. Seeing that the family was in dire straits, she left to lead an independent life and to help support her family with earnings from her various jobs. Frieda’s reflection on the time was, “We didn’t ever think that we were poor. We just had hard times.” Her siblings fondly remember her sending them school supplies, books and toys. During the Depression, Frieda saw that her siblings had nothing at Christmas so when her sisters Dorothy and Helen moved out of the home and to Chicago to join Frieda, she pooled the girls’ money and sent a box filled with gifts for the 5 children still at home so they’d have something to open at Christmas.

After caring for her grandparents, Frieda wore many hats. Among them, she worked as a mothers helper for an unkind family. Raised Lutheran, Frieda enjoyed Luther League. Her rigid employer allowed her to attend Luther League meetings once a week so long as challenging conditions were met. The Lutheran Church got her out of her employers’ grasp and set her up to nanny for good people for whom she was given the responsibility of managing the family budget.

She met her late husband, John Samuel Halfaker, at Hardings Restaurant in Chicago where they both worked. Their courtship began when he walked her home one night after work. They got so deep into talking that they walked an extra 5 miles taking the long way home. They became great friends. Their courtship was interrupted when John was drafted. While she waited for his return, Frieda was recognized for her management and cooking skills, and was hired as Manager of the Greyhound Post Houses between Indiana and West Virginia during WWII. At the end of the war, John returned to Frieda. In spite of their pre-war agreement to date for 6 months after John returned from the war to see how they felt about each other, when she saw him jaundiced, 109lbs, 6’2″ and broken, she felt compassion for him and married him in September 1945. Frieda was 32 years old, 6 years John’s senior. John actively suffered from PTSD which made him a difficult spouse. Flaws and all, she loved him.

She desperately wanted to be a mother and was blessed with the birth of Ann in November 1946. Ann’s birth was followed by 2 sons, Alex and John. In 1953 Frieda underwent her first of many surgeries to treat three different forms of cancer in addition to other issues. She was in and out of the University of Chicago Medical Center for the next 10 years undergoing treatments, many of which were experimental. She was absolutely determined to survive the misery to finish raising her children. She even beat death on the operating table, so focused on survival. She relayed the story of seeing the light and running back to life. After this heinous time, Frieda truly had a new lease on life. It was also around this time that Frieda read Silent Spring by Rachel Carson. The book persuaded her to become a dedicated organic gardener and to encourage others around her to follow suit.

In 1967, Frieda became Assistant Manager in the Silver Department at Carson Perie Scott & Co in Chicago where she worked until retirement. Frieda was physically active, often walking for her mode of transportation. Post retirement, when watching her young grandchildren in the height of a Kansas summertime, it was nothing for her to walk them to church for the 6 mile round-trip and collect garbage to dispose of along the way. Lunchtime came and she would take them on another long walk for a picnic skipping and singing the whole way.

When John passed away, Frieda moved in with her daughter and son-in-law. Using their home as a base, Frieda loved traveling around the US and Canada to visit her siblings before settling to live at the Mennonite Home. She had Alzheimer’s disease. She didn’t express anger, but accepted her memory loss. She sung, remembered her thanks, and praised all the people who work there. They loved her.
Frieda was adored by her siblings. She encouraged them to do things they wouldn’t have done without her ‘push’ and she was always at their aid in a moment’s notice. Frieda was a devoted mother, a dedicated wife and an inspirational grandmother. Her optimism, joy, strength, enduring love, faith and vibrant energy was a beacon for us all.

She was preceded in death by her parents, her husband, her son Thomas Alexander, her son-in-law Paul Palmer, and three sisters; Gertrude Kruger, Ruth Payne, and Erna Kline.

Frieda is survived by 8 siblings; sister Edna Cressy of St.Catherines Ontario Canada, sister Dorothy Lind of Palo Alto, CA, sister Helen Lamons of Palo Alto, CA, sister Mildred Dinelli of South Wilmington, IL, sister Lucille Linzy of South Wilmington, IL, brother Bill Mahler and sister-in-law Marguerite of East Lansing, MI, brother Harold Mahler and sister-in-law Margie of South Wilmington, IL, and brother Leonard Mahler and sister-in-law Mary of Dwight, IL. She is also survived by her daughter, Ann Palmer of Fort Worth, TX and son, John Halfaker of Chicago, IL; grandchildren Luke Palmer (and wife Bridget) of Fort Worth, TX, Erica Gerald (and husband Pepi) of Hood River, OR, Adam Halfaker and Katrina Halfaker of Chicago, IL. She leaves 5 great-grandchildren; Annelise, Michael and Matthew Palmer plus Miyuki and Colin Gerald.

A memorial service will be held for Frieda in Fort Worth, TX at a date to be determined. In lieu of flowers, contributions may be sent to Ann Palmer for the Memorial: 5808 Sugar Maple Drive, Fort Worth, TX 76244

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Condolences to the Family

November 19, 2018

My grandmother was an amazingly kind and patient woman. She inspired my lifetime love of reading and curiosity and I will always admire her tenacity and tenderness. 

January 15, 2014

Your Mother must have been a remarkable lady, just like her beautiful daughter!  My thoughts are with you at this time· Much love to you and your family!  Sharon & Andy Landis

January 06, 2014

Such a beautiful tribute to a very loved woman! Hugs and prayers to all.

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