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What Is Needed from Next of Kin for Burial and Cremation in Lititz, Pennsylvania

Fri, 10 Apr 2026 12:00:05 GMT

Summary

The next of kin typically provides authorization for burial or cremation.
Funeral homes often need identification, vital information, and signed authorization forms.
Documentation requirements vary by state but generally include permit and death certificate details.
Funeral directors guide families through each step with compassion and clarity.

What Is Needed from Next of Kin for Burial and Cremation

Families in Lititz, Pennsylvania often ask what is required from the next of kin when planning burial or cremation arrangements. According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), written authorization from the legal next of kin is generally required before any final arrangements can move forward.

The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) explains that this authorization supports transparency under the Funeral Rule and helps ensure families receive clear and accurate information. The next of kin—often a spouse, adult child, parent, or legal representative—usually holds the authority to approve funeral, burial, or cremation decisions.

Identification and Documentation Requirements

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) highlights the importance of accurate documentation when preparing an official death certificate. Funeral homes often request the following information from the next of kin:

A government-issued photo ID for the next of kin.
Vital information about the deceased, including legal name, date of birth, parents’ names, and Social Security number.
A signed authorization form for burial or cremation.
Information needed to complete the official death certificate.

These documents help ensure that arrangements meet legal requirements and reflect a family’s wishes.

Why Authorization Matters

Authorization helps confirm that all final arrangements follow legal guidelines and honor a family’s preferences. For burial, the next of kin may need to complete a burial permit and confirm cemetery or vault selections. For cremation, a Cremation Authorization Form is typically required, and some regions may require a waiting period or medical examiner approval.

Funeral directors at Charles F Snyder Funeral Home & Crematory - Lititz Pike Chapel offer compassionate guidance throughout this process, helping families in Lititz, Pennsylvania feel supported and informed.

Frequently Asked Questions

Who is considered the next of kin?

The next of kin is typically a spouse, adult child, parent, or legal representative with the authority to make funeral , burial, or cremation decisions.

What documents are needed before burial or cremation?

Most funeral homes request a government-issued ID, essential information for the death certificate, and a signed authorization form from the next of kin.

Do requirements vary by state?

Yes. Documentation requirements often differ depending on the state or region, so families should consult their funeral home for guidance specific to their area.

Written for Charles F Snyder Funeral Home & Crematory - Lititz Pike Chapel, proudly serving families in Lititz, Pennsylvania with compassion and care.

About Charles F Snyder Funeral Home & Crematory - Lititz Pike Chapel

Charles F Snyder Funeral Home & Crematory - Lititz Pike Chapel is honored to support families throughout Lititz, Pennsylvania. Their dedicated staff provides steady guidance through every step of funeral and cremation planning. Located at 3110 Lititz Pike, Lititz, PA 17543 , families may reach them at 717-560-5100 for compassionate assistance.

www.snyderfuneralhome.com

Why Do Funeral & Cremation Costs Vary in Lititz, Pennsylvania?

Fri, 06 Mar 2026 20:42:53 GMT

Summary

Funeral and cremation costs often vary based on location, facilities, staffing, and service offerings.
Families in Lititz may notice differences in pricing depending on available amenities, on-site cremation services, and gathering spaces.
Personalization, professional care, and the level of support chosen all contribute to total cost.
The FTC’s Funeral Rule requires transparent pricing to help families compare providers with confidence.

Why Do Funeral and Cremation Costs Vary?

Families in Lititz often wonder why funeral and cremation costs differ among funeral homes. According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), these variations are common and are often tied to regional operating expenses, staffing needs, and the types of services families choose. All referenced national data is accurate as of 2025.

Regional and Overhead Differences

Communities like Lititz may have operational costs that differ from major metropolitan areas or rural regions. Expenses such as staffing, facility maintenance, and property requirements can influence how funeral homes determine pricing. These regional differences explain why costs may vary even between funeral homes that offer similar services.

Facilities, Services, and Personalization

The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) requires funeral homes to provide a General Price List (GPL), ensuring families understand available services and their associated costs. Funeral homes offering on-site cremation, spacious chapels, or reception areas may have higher staffing and maintenance expenses, which can affect overall pricing. Costs also vary based on whether a family chooses a traditional funeral , cremation with a service, or direct cremation, as well as personalized elements such as music, flowers, video tributes, or catered gatherings.

Professional Care and Transparency

Every funeral or cremation arrangement involves a professional team providing preparation, documentation, transportation, and ongoing support. The Cremation Association of North America (CANA) highlights that this expertise is an important part of the overall value families receive. Families may compare GPLs to better understand offerings and select the funeral home that best meets their needs and preferences.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why do funeral prices vary from one funeral home to another?

Prices often differ due to facility size, staffing, location, and personalization options, according to the NFDA.

Are funeral homes required to disclose their pricing?

Yes. The FTC’s Funeral Rule requires providers to offer a detailed General Price List (GPL) before any arrangements are made.

Does preplanning help manage funeral or cremation costs?

Yes. Preplanning may help families secure current prices, clearly document their wishes, and reduce emotional and financial stress later on.

Written for Charles F. Snyder Funeral Home & Crematory – Lititz Pike Chapel, proudly serving families in Lititz with compassion and care.

About Charles F. Snyder Funeral Home & Crematory – Lititz Pike Chapel

Charles F. Snyder Funeral Home & Crematory has served families throughout Lititz and the surrounding communities for generations. Located at 3110 Lititz Pike, Lititz, PA 17543 . The funeral home is dedicated to offering compassionate guidance, clear options, and meaningful services that honor each family’s values and traditions.

www.snyderfuneralhome.com

How Much Does Cremation Cost in Lititz, PA?

Fri, 06 Feb 2026 20:45:24 GMT

Summary

According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), the national median cost of a funeral with cremation is $6,280 as of 2025.
A direct cremation, which does not include a ceremony, typically ranges from $2,800 to $3,000.
Cremation costs vary depending on service type, merchandise selections, and local factors.
Families in Lititz can choose cremation options that reflect their needs, preferences, and traditions.

How Much Does Cremation Cost?

Families in Lititz, Pennsylvania, often ask how much cremation costs and what influences those costs. According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) 2024 General Price List Study, the national median cost of a funeral with cremation is $6,280 as of 2025.

This amount often includes professional care, transportation, coordination services, and the use of facilities for a gathering or memorial.

Many families consider direct cremation, which is typically the most affordable option. This choice generally ranges from $2,800 to $3,000 and includes the essential elements of the cremation process without a visitation or ceremony.

Even with this simple option, funeral professionals ensure the process is handled with dignity and respect.

What Factors Influence Cremation Costs?

Cremation costs are shaped by several factors, including whether a family chooses a memorial service, a celebration of life, or an immediate cremation.

Families may also select an urn or keepsake to honor their loved one, which can influence the final cost. Merchandise descriptions remain general to give families freedom to choose what feels right.

Local considerations can also impact pricing. Funeral homes that maintain an on-site crematory or offer spacious gathering areas, reception spaces, and comprehensive staff support may have different pricing structures.

The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) requires every funeral home to provide a transparent General Price List (GPL) so families can compare options clearly and confidently.

Planning ahead can also be a helpful way for families to prepare, often ensuring wishes are honored and offering some protection against future cost increases.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is cremation typically less expensive than burial?

Cremation is often more affordable because it typically does not require cemetery property, a burial vault, or a casket. Total costs still vary depending on the services selected.

Can families have a funeral or memorial service with cremation?

Yes. Many families in Lititz choose to hold a meaningful funeral, memorial, or celebration of life either before or after the cremation process.

Do all funeral homes include the same services in their cremation pricing?

No. Cremation packages often vary. Some may include additional services or amenities, which is why reviewing a funeral home’s General Price List is helpful.

Written for Charles F. Snyder Funeral Home & Crematory – Lititz Pike Chapel, proudly serving families in Lititz with compassion and care.

About Charles F. Snyder Funeral Home & Crematory – Lititz Pike Chapel

Families in Lititz, Pennsylvania, can turn to Charles F. Snyder Funeral Home & Crematory – Lititz Pike Chapel for compassionate and professional guidance. Located at 3110 Lititz Pike, Lititz, PA 17543, the caring team can be reached at 717-560-5100 for support with cremation services and preplanning.

www.snyderfuneralhome.com

How Much Does a Funeral Cost in Lititz, Pennsylvania?

Fri, 09 Jan 2026 05:00:00 GMT

Summary

The median cost of a funeral with viewing and burial is about $8,300, according to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA).

The median cost of a funeral with cremation is around $6,280, based on the NFDA’s 2024 national study.

Funeral costs vary depending on service choices, merchandise selections, and the level of personalization a family prefers.

Understanding national averages helps families in Lititz make informed decisions when planning a meaningful tribute.

How Much Does a Funeral Cost?

Families in Lititz, Pennsylvania, often wonder what influences the cost of a funeral and how to plan in a way that feels thoughtful and manageable. According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), the median cost of a funeral with viewing and burial is around $8,300, while a funeral with cremation averages about $6,280. These national figures, accurate as of 2025, provide a helpful starting point when considering funeral costs.

Funeral costs vary because each family’s needs, traditions, and priorities are unique. A traditional funeral with a viewing, ceremony, and burial may include several elements that affect the total cost. A funeral followed by cremation typically involves many of the same professional services but may differ in merchandise choices or final placement decisions.

Other factors that may influence overall cost include transportation needs, use of the funeral home’s facilities, and the level of personalization a family prefers. It is also important to remember that NFDA national medians do not include cemetery expenses, which vary by location and are generally billed separately.

Most funeral services typically include professional guidance from the funeral director and staff, care of the deceased, use of facilities for visitations or ceremonies, and transportation. Families may select merchandise—such as caskets, urns, or memorial items—based on their loved one’s wishes and the type of service they choose.

Planning ahead can offer peace of mind for everyone involved. When families understand the general structure of funeral costs and available options, it often becomes easier to make thoughtful decisions and create a meaningful tribute.

Frequently Asked Questions

What factors influence the total cost of a funeral?

Funeral costs often depend on the type of service, merchandise selections, and the level of personalization a family chooses. National averages provide a useful starting point when planning.

Are cemetery costs included in national funeral averages?

No. Cemetery costs—such as plots, markers, and opening and closing fees—are generally not included in NFDA national averages and are typically billed separately.

Does choosing cremation always cost less than burial?

Not necessarily. While the median cost for a funeral with cremation is typically lower, the overall cost depends on the specific services and merchandise a family selects.

Written for Charles F. Snyder Funeral Home & Crematory – Lititz Pike Chapel, proudly serving families in Lititz with compassion and care.

About Charles F. Snyder Funeral Home & Crematory – Lititz Pike Chapel

Families in Lititz, Pennsylvania, can turn to Charles F. Snyder Funeral Home & Crematory – Lititz Pike Chapel for caring and professional guidance when planning ahead. Located at 3110 Lititz Pike, Lititz, PA 17543, their dedicated staff can be reached at 717-560-5100 to answer questions about funeral planning and available options.

www.snyderfuneralhome.com

The Best Gift Ever for Your Adult Kids

Thu, 11 Dec 2025 05:00:00 GMT

Gifts that please, surprise, are useful, and don’t break the bank are hard to come by.

So, here’s one that no one will see coming. What if you could give the gift of being prepared? You can.

All you have to do is call the funeral home and get on the schedule to speak to the preneed person/advance funeral planner. Just get all your questions answered. Get a plan written and on file at the funeral home. That way everyone knows who to call, what to do, and maybe even how it’s all going to be paid for when the time comes.

Does your family need this gift? Here’s a test. When you order a pizza does everyone want the same toppings? If your family takes a bit to decide or you always order half this and half that, a funeral plan will be a terrific gift. If your family is blended, then absolutely this is a perfect gift. If yours is a second marriage, for sure they’ll all appreciate this gift one day. Even if your kids are all equally successful, agree on everything, and belong to the same church, they will still love this gift!

No one will expect your gift of a completed funeral plan. No one will need the receipt to return your gift. Your gift will not be too big, too small, too out of style, or re-gifted. It will absolutely be used someday. It will be appreciated.

www.snyderfuneralhome.com

Saying Thank-You to a Veteran

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 05:00:00 GMT

There are a million ways to say thank you. Great or small they all have value.

Decide to always just say thank you whenever you see a person in uniform.
When you see a person in uniform at the coffee shop or fast food restaurant pick up their tab if you can.
At the airport trade your first class or comfort seat for their standard seat
If you have a neighbor who is deployed offer to play catch with the kids or mow the lawn. Ask how you can help
Send a care package by contacting Operation Gratitude
Donate your old cell phone
Drive a Veteran to their doctor appointments (contact the hospital services coordinator at the local VA hospital)
Write a letter
Volunteer at a VA hospital
If you run a business hire a veteran – Hire Heroes USA
Donate dollars or time to train service dogs for veterans – Patriot Paws or Puppy Jake Foundation
Build a house for a veteran – Building Homes for Heroes

Big dollars or only a few dollars, lots of time or only a little time, where there is a will there is a way to say thank you to those who serve in our military.

www.snyderfuneralhome.com

Funeral Service and Veterans Benefits

Thu, 09 Oct 2025 04:00:00 GMT

The Funeral Home is the best resource for understanding veterans death benefits.

The Federal Government provides a death benefit for honorable discharged veterans. The dollar amount varies based on where the death occurs (VA hospital) and if the death was service-related. In most cases the benefit is modest and will not cover the entire cost of a funeral, burial, or cremation. Your local funeral home is an excellent resource to help veterans and their families understand the benefit that is available.

www.va.gov

VA will pay up to $796 toward burial and funeral expenses for deaths on or after October 1, 2019 (if hospitalized by VA at time of death), or $300 toward burial and funeral expenses (if not hospitalized by VA at time of death), and a $796 plot-interment allowance (if not buried in a national cemetery).

Most funeral homes will provide a consultation and planning session at no charge upon request. It is never too soon to schedule a meeting with a funeral planner. Understanding exactly the benefit that will be available upon death is the best way for veterans to assure their family is not misinformed and thereby disappointed in the benefit they receive when death does occur.

The funeral planner will review the current benefits available from the U.S. Government. These benefits have been subject to change over the years, making obtaining current up-to-date information important. The planner will discuss your funeral service desires and your family’s funeral expectations and needs. The planner will also discuss the military graveside service and US flag that can be provided, if you desire, upon death. During your planning session you will also review final disposition options. Final disposition is a term referring to a person’s personal preference to be buried or cremated and the location of your final resting place.

During a meeting with a funeral planner the veteran will have the opportunity to ask questions about burial availability in a local Veteran’s cemetery, funeral service and memorial service options as well as review funeral products such as caskets and vaults that honor the different branches of military service.

It is a good idea bring a copy of discharge papers (DD214) to the meeting. Making a list of your questions and bringing it to the meeting as well will help to assure your questions are answered and nothing is overlooked.

It is also a good idea to ask the planner about any programs the funeral home has to help fill in the cost difference between the US Government Benefit amount and the estimated cost of the funeral service. Many funeral homes provide the opportunity to set up manageable payment plans to cover the gap. Some funeral homes even offer plans that provide coverage for the entire cost should death occur before all payments are complete.

Once a funeral plan is completed it should be kept on file at the funeral home along with a copy of the DD214.

www.snyderfuneralhome.com

What is a Green Funeral?

Thu, 04 Sep 2025 04:00:00 GMT

The term “green funeral” refers to ceremony, service, and body disposition that focuses on preservation of the earth. Many of those who live “green” also wish to end “green”. Just as living green is carried out in different ways and with many choices, there are also many different methods of having a green funeral. Your funeral director is your best guide to the green funeral options available in your geographic area.

For one person living green may mean passing on the offer of a plastic straw. For others, green may mean living off the grid and bicycling to work. One can be all in, or just a little green. Funerals can also be greenish or very green.

Sometimes a green living choice comes with a cost savings and sometimes going green costs more. For example, you’ll use less fuel with a hybrid automobile. Using less gas will generate a cost savings. However, you will usually pay more for a hybrid car than for the same make and model that is not hybrid. Green is not about saving dollars—it is a lifestyle. A belief system motivated by a sense of responsibility for our home, the planet earth. It is a choice.

If you are motivated to pursue a green goodbye, you will be pleased to know that your choice will not require that you give up any of the healing aspects of a funeral service. Service, gathering, and viewing the body can all be included in a green funeral.

Funeral directors have access to environmentally friendly embalming chemicals. If your family prefers to have the body present for the funeral service that can be accomplished. Should a private family viewing be more in line with your green funeral plans, the body can be simply prepared without embalming to make that experience possible for family members.

Green cemeteries or green areas in traditional cemeteries usually do not require a burial vault or grave liner. The body is shrouded and placed directly in the earth or placed in a biodegradable container which is buried. Those who opt for a green burial do so because disruption to the earth is minimized. No harsh chemicals from embalming, no treated wood or metal casket and no metals or concrete from a grave liner are introduced in the grave space. If you remember our hybrid car example something similar occurs with green burials. In most cemeteries a green burial space will cost more than a traditional burial space, but you will not incur the cost of the vault.

For those who prefer cremation you will need to know that all cremators (the device where cremation takes place) are not created equal. Newer models tend to have a smaller carbon footprint. Ask your funeral director which providers in your area are the most environmentally friendly.

There are also many different green options when it comes to the final resting place for cremated remains. Cremated remains can be incorporated into objects that become family heirlooms, or, they can become part of an underwater reef. There is a nearly unlimited number of earth-friendly alternatives of what to do with cremated remains. When making funeral arrangements tell your funeral director that green is important to you and ask for help in finding service providers that support your values.

www.snyderfuneralhome.com

Should We Have an Open Casket?

Thu, 07 Aug 2025 04:00:00 GMT

“I was very surprised at my reaction. Seeing John in his casket wasn’t something I was looking forward to. His daughter (from his first marriage) really wanted an open casket. So, I agreed. Mostly just to remain on good terms with my stepdaughter. He looked so peaceful. He had a Mona Lisa smile. I am so glad I didn’t stick to what he and I had talked about. The opportunity for that last good good-bye ended up meaning the world to me… and his daughter.”

Many long-standing funeral practices, like viewing the deceased, are undervalued today. Perhaps we should think again? Maybe go slowly? Allow for individual family members to say goodbye in a way that is most meaningful to them.

There is a value to “seeing” the deceased. If you doubt that value think about what happens when there is a sudden, unexpected death. Body recovery is high on everyone’s list. Seeing is believing. Some family members may find an opportunity to see the deceased helpful. Some, like the woman who wrote the opening quote, may be surprised at the comfort the opportunity to see the person they love at peace brings.

The funeral director is there to guide you. Ask questions. How can we give my grandson an opportunity to see his grandfather? What if some family do not wish to see dad? Mom didn’t want an open casket but some of us would like an opportunity to see her one last time. What can we do?

Funeral directors are always willing and able to allow for individual family differences. A daughter who prefers not to view the body and grandson who would very much appreciate an opportunity for a face to face farewell. One need not exclude the other. Funeral directors have solutions. When you meet with yours, be open. Share your family’s needs and ask questions.

www.snyderfuneralhome.com

Why Not Call the Funeral Director?

Thu, 10 Jul 2025 04:00:00 GMT

A husband and father of four dies suddenly. He languishes in the morgue at the coroner’s office for weeks because no one knows what to do and no one is empowered to act. The only thing the kids and grandchildren can agree on is that their father did not want to spend a lot of money on a funeral.

It is just downright crazy the things folks will do to work around the funeral home when a family member dies. Let’s get real about the widespread and totally unreasonable fear of working with a funeral director. The origin of the fear is the belief that funerals cost too much. Let’s take a look at the reality.

Funeral directors are educated professionals. Like doctors and lawyers, they meet rigorous state requirements in order to be licensed to practice. Funeral directors do expect to be paid for the work they do. However, unlike doctors and lawyers, funeral directors do not typically charge for a consultation. Which means a family can talk with a director about options and cost before they make a commitment to actually have the funeral home provide services.

A person should not expect this is something one should do on the fly over the phone. That is just unreasonable. You would not expect to call Macy’s and ask how much a pair of shoes will cost. Everyone knows it is not that simple. You are going to need to provide more information about the kind of shoe you need to get an accurate cost. In the same way there are literally hundreds of possible combinations of funeral services and products. The cost depends on what your family wants and needs.

So instead, call the funeral home and ask for an appointment with a funeral director to learn about options for service and cost. When you sit down with the director you will be presented with a general price list. This list will detail all the services and costs. What could be more up front than that? What other professional group will provide you with that kind of information?

Be prepared to share both your budget and what is important to your family. Please, do not let unreasonable fear keep you from getting the professional help your family needs when someone they love has died.

www.snyderfuneralhome.com

Should I Send Flowers When Someone Dies?

Thu, 05 Jun 2025 04:00:00 GMT

Back in the day, before embalming was wide-spread, flowers surrounded the casket and perfumed the air. Today, it is no longer necessary to have flowers scent the air. And yet, there is something comforting about the presence of flowers at a funeral.

Flowers are beautiful. What an amazing way nature has provided for life to go on. The flower is the promise of the future for a plant. Flowers are cheerful. They are calming. When we are the recipient of a floral bouquet or arrangement, we feel cared about, loved, and comforted. Flowers are visual. They are tangible. Family and friends can see the love that was directed at the person who has died. They can see the love that is directed at them in their time of sorrow. So, why not send flowers? Send them to the funeral home or to the home of family members.

If flowers are not how you would like to show your condolences, florists can also offer non-floral expressions.

Many florists also offer a variety of statuary, memorial pieces such as crosses or even throw blankets. Call your local florists and let them assist you with the perfect item.

Another option is to direct the money people would spend on flowers to a charity or a cause that was important to the deceased. A contribution is a lovely gesture of remembrance. Cures can be found, treatment provided, lives saved or enhanced, through charitable contributions.

If you are the family member deciding what to do – donations or flowers – there is no real right or wrong. Maybe you accept any form of condolences. Allow friends and family to express their feelings in a manner appropriate for them. Instead of using the language “in lieu of flowers” in the announcement just say, “Donations to __________ will be appreciated. Flowers or expressions of sympathy may be sent to .” That way folks can decide on their own how they want to show respect and provide comfort.

If you are going to a funeral and are undecided about sending flowers, a memorial item or a donation, do what feels good to you. If you think the family is likely to be overwhelmed with flowers you might pull together a group of folks, neighbors, co-workers, church friends, the bridge group, and send one floral arrangement or gift from all. If a charity has not been designated but you would prefer to contribute in remembrance of the deceased, contribute to a cause that is dear to you.

There is no right or wrong, sending flowers or a contribution, let the family know they are loved and the person they loved and lost was important.

www.snyderfuneralhome.com

Planning for Cremation

Thu, 01 May 2025 04:00:00 GMT

Choose a cremation provider.
Decide on a “closing” ceremony.
Choose a final resting place.

Start with the end. Where will your cremated remains “rest?” On average, a cremated human body will be reduced to about five pounds of coarse “ash”. There are three general choices for resting places and a variety of options within each choice.

Ashes can be kept by a family member.
Buried or permanently kept in a columbarium niche.
Scattered.

Very few people really “don’t have anybody”. Friends are the family we choose, and then there is the family. Most of us are deeply connected to at least one other human being. These are the people who will need some time to process their loss of you.

A funeral service (with or without a religious service) can be held before the cremation takes place.
A memorial service occurs after the cremation takes place. It may or may not include a religious service.
Either a funeral or a memorial service can be formal, informal, or very informal. Either can be held pretty much anywhere.

Funeral homes either provide cremation at the funeral home or coordinate transportation from the place of death to the cremation facility. They can also help you choose a final resting option and coordinate the closing ceremony. Most funeral homes have a person on staff who will answer all your questions and help determine which options work best for you and the people who are important to you. Amazingly enough, this is a free service. A cremation society or direct cremation provider will take care of the cremation.

You can:

Take advantage of your local funeral home’s planning service (no charge).
Sign up for a cremation society and leave everything else to those who love you.

www.snyderfuneralhome.com

Death and Taxes

Thu, 03 Apr 2025 04:00:00 GMT

Death and taxes (seemingly unlikely bed fellows at first glance) are often linked together because they have long been considered unavoidable life events. Some even say they are the only two things that are certain in life. Neither is something people typically look forward to, but they are both events that are anticipated and can be prepared for in advance.

This is the time of year when folks hope they have prepared well for their taxes. Even in these difficult times, taxes are something that can’t be ignored and must be taken care of. Most people prefer to get a tax refund rather than a tax bill. They hope the calculations have been made correctly and the payments made throughout the year will be enough to offset the sting of a big tax bill come April 15 ^th .

Hmmm… come to think about it, most folks don’t typically look forward to a big funeral bill at the end of their life either. Few want to leave their family responsible for funeral costs. However, many people don’t plan to offset that expense like they do their taxes.

Even though most people, 62.5 percent according to the National Funeral Directors Association ’s (NFDA) annual Consumer Awareness and Preferences Study, think it’s important to plan in advance. Only a small percentage (21.4 percent) actually act on their good intentions. Why? They have the perception that prepaying is too costly.

Most people are unaware that prepaying does not mean you must pay in one single payment. Many funeral homes offer specialized programs that allow funerals to be paid in advance, just like taxes, in small, easily-digested bites. Payments can be made on a variety of schedules allowing the consumer the opportunity to choose how long to stretch out payments and how often to make those payments. Individuals can even choose to make one payment per year! That means a person could choose to put their tax refund toward their funeral.

What about that roughly one quarter of people who do go beyond thinking they should make a funeral plan and actually make one? How do they feel once they have their plan in place? Ahh, they feel good. Funeral planners often say they see shoulders go down, hear audible sighs of relief and get hugs at the conclusion of a planning session. It’s like cleaning out the junk drawer: something most folks put off, but when they dig in and get it done, it feels so good they just keep going back to sneak a peek at that drawer all in order.

www.snyderfuneralhome.com

Do I Need a “Final Resting Place”?

Thu, 06 Mar 2025 05:00:00 GMT

Let’s face it everyone will have one, a final resting place that is. The questions you should be asking are where is it? Can it be found in the future should a family member want to do so? Is the final resting place protected? Is it hallowed ground? Will the place endure?

Most of us know exactly where our great grandparents are “resting.” It’s in a cemetery somewhere. Even when the grave is half a continent away and we never get there to put flowers on the grave, we know where they are. Will our grandchildren know where we rest?

For those who would like to be buried in a cemetery

Fear not. There are spaces available check with your funeral director for advice about where to look.
Worried about the environment? Again, ask your funeral director about green and greenish burial options.
Concerned about cost? Consider the resale market. Many family’s plans change. Families resell cemetery plots they will not use at a lower cost.

For those who plan to donate their body to science

Know that in most cases the cremated remains will be returned to the family at some point and will require a plan for the final resting place.
Always have a back-up plan just in case the body is not accepted for donation.
Talk to your funeral director about how to put together a memorial service to take place right after death since it may be months or even years before ashes are returned to the family.

For those who will be cremated

Consider your many options carefully. You may want to discuss them with your funeral director. There may be final resting options you are not aware of.
If you plan to scatter ashes, give thought to the location and how family members will be impacted if the golf course is sold and turned into a go-kart track? Keep in mind that if you belong to a faith such as Catholicism, the Church does not permit scattering and would instead advocate for a permanent final resting place.
Talk to your funeral director about keepsakes such as paperweights that incorporate some of the ashes or jewelry that can hold a small amount of cremated remains. Again, if you belong to the Catholic faith, this is not permitted.
Be aware that final resting place means it must endure for generations to come. Will your children’s children still want your urn in their home?
Know having a viable plan for the final resting place is the most often overlooked step for those who cremate. Not addressing this issue creates a burden for someone in the family as time passes. Talk to your funeral director.

www.snyderfuneralhome.com

How Often Do I Need To Change the Furnace Filter?

Thu, 19 Dec 2024 05:00:00 GMT

When there is a breakup, illness, or death and the person in the household who took care of the household necessities is no longer available, it isn’t long before you know you need help. Finding someone to do these little jobs can be difficult. It’s a good idea to be prepared to learn how to do some things yourself.

Most furnace filters will need to be changed every three months / four times a year. If you can see dust and dirt or can’t see the fabric pattern of the filter, it needs to be replaced. Keeping up with filter replacement is good for your furnace. It is also good for your health. Changing a filter is a pretty easy task to complete once you know where it goes and how it is inserted into your air handler. Buy a year’s supply of filters, mark your calendar to remind you when it’s time for a change and get someone to show you how it’s done. You want to be as independent as you can be, so take notes if you need to. Tape them to the furnace so you’ll be all set for the next filter change.

Often the “filter changer” was also in charge of auto maintenance so you may also need to know more about care of the car. For example, how often to you need to change the oil in the car? What about getting the car waxed? Some people like to use the dealership where the car was purchased for maintenance. Others are sure they can get it done at an independent garage for less money. Just be sure you are not being penny wise and pound foolish. You might start with the service provider your previous auto maintenance person used. If you have no idea, ask someone you trust.

Typically, oil changes take place based on miles driven and type of oil used. Some cars use synthetic oil which comes at a higher cost but requires changing far less frequently. Find your car’s owner’s manual (it’s usually in the glove box of the car) and read. In the upper left corner of the windshield you might find a sticker that tells you the date of the last change and the mileage when you will need your next change. If you drive very little and don’t hit your mileage, it is still best to keep the oil in your car fresh. Change the oil at least twice a year.

Now, about keeping up with the appearance of your car. It is also good for resale and the look of your car to keep it clean and waxed. Spend the dollars for a hand wax at least twice a year.

If you are lucky, you’ll have a son or son-in-law or maybe even a helpful neighbor who will offer to help with your “manly” chores, but here’s an important tip: Plan your help and coordinate the chores. Ask for help getting the gutters cleaned, furnace filters changed, and light bulbs in the fan all taken care of during the same visit. You don’t want to be that person who is always calling for help. Also, don’t forget to reward your handy person. A gift card for your handyman and his wife to go out to dinner will keep everyone smiling.

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What To Expect When Your Catholic Friend Dies.

Thu, 05 Dec 2024 05:00:00 GMT

Roman Catholic refers to a religious body that acknowledges the pope as its authority and the Vatican as the center of ecclesiastical unity. The Catholic Church’s position on death is as follows … From the General Introduction of the Order of Christian Funerals: “ The Church intercedes on behalf of the deceased because of its confident belief that death is not the end… The Church also ministers to the sorrowing and consoles them in the funeral rites with the comforting word of God and sacrament of the eucharist.”

Funeral services for a Catholic, in their entirety, will have three parts. Today it is not uncommon for one or more parts to be omitted or abbreviated. Still, the Church recommends the funeral contain all three parts since each has a special function or purpose. The parts include:

The Vigil or Wake : This is an opportunity for family, community, and friends to gather, pray, and offer condolences to the family of the deceased. It is a time to remember the life of the deceased. The vigil…

Usually takes place at the funeral home the evening before the service or morning before the service at the church.
The body is usually present. The casket may or may not be open. Mourners will approach the casket and say a silent prayer.
Eulogies, pictures, secular music, and food may be a part of this service. What is included varies depending on the ethnicity of the family and their traditions. This is a time for focusing on the life of the deceased. Having the Vigil in the funeral

home almost always allows for a greater flexibility when it comes to eulogies,

pictures, secular music and food as many churches do not have the same

capabilities as funeral homes, and many will have policies limiting activities,

especially if the vigil were to take place in their worship space.

A priest or deacon may lead those gathered in a brief prayer service.

The Funeral Liturgy: This is the liturgical celebration of the community for the deceased. A Mass is encouraged. The funeral liturgy is an act of worship.

The priest, followed by the casket and then the family, will process into the church.
Attendees who are not Catholic may stand, sit, and kneel along with Catholics during the service/Mass. Guests who are not comfortable with kneeling may sit during the entire service.
No special head covering is required for women or men.
Prayers will be read, and communion will be distributed.
Only Catholic attendees may receive communion. This is out of respect for what

Catholics believe communion is and out of respect for the fact that non-Catholics

do not share the same belief.

Eulogies and secular music will not be a part of this service.

The Interment: Funeral guests are invited to attend the interment.

Prayers will be led by the priest or deacon.
Military rites may be included if applicable.
The grave will be closed after participants leave the cemetery.
A wake or luncheon may follow the interment and can be held at the funeral home, the church hall, or a restaurant.

When a Catholic dies it is appropriate to:

Telephone or stop by to offer condolences.
Send flowers to the funeral home or to the home of close family members.
To bring food to the family.
To make a contribution to charities in honor of the deceased.

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After the Funeral…What To Look Forward To

Thu, 21 Nov 2024 05:00:00 GMT

Sometimes the future feels bleak. For those struggling with a recent death in their family or just beaten down by the news, it can be difficult to look forward, to anticipate, to feel hopeful.

Most of us are removed from the rituals of spring. The tilling of the earth, getting our hands in the compost, planting seeds, all simple pursuits that are, by their nature, full of hope. Even if you are living in a community that takes care of your landscape, or a group living arrangement or even in a big city high rise it is really not that hard to grow something. Something that you can nurture, and watch grow – a little something to look forward to.

Grow Something to Eat!

A basil plant from the grocery store just needs a sunny window and water. A little bit of your own home-grown basil in your tomato soup, or your scrambled eggs, or a salad will make you smile.
Have a little more room? Go for a tomato It ’ ll need a little more attention and space. You’ll need to rotate the pot, water, and support the branches but nothing tastes like a vine ripened home-grown tomato. As you watch it go from bloom to fruit the anticipation will build.

Grow Something to Attract the B’s … Birds, Bees, & Butterflies

Milk weed, bee balm, cone flowers… The list is long. You are sure to find something that works in your spot be it little or large. Use plants or seeds that are not treated with pest controls and if you have the space go for a little variety that will extend your blooming season. The B’s need you and nothing lifts the spirits like being needed! They are also entertaining/fun to watch and something to look forward to. Try it, you’ll see.

Feed the Hummingbirds

Hummingbirds are amazing! Once they know you have a feeder, they will show up every morning and evening. You’ll have fun watching them “protect” their feeder. It’s like snoopy and the red baron the way they zoom and dive on each other. Much better than the 24-hour news channel. All you need is a simple feeder. Some feeders attach to the outside of your window with suction cups. The food is simple to make. Just one-part sugar to four parts of water, warm it up in the microwave or stove top just to dissolve the sugar. Then cool and store in the fridge. You’ll be surprised how much they eat! Best part is once they get used to seeing you at the window, they’ll make your day.

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Veterans Day – Thank You for Your Service

Thu, 07 Nov 2024 05:00:00 GMT

Because you are there we all sleep better at night. You serve in the Army, Air Force, Navy, Marines, and Coast Guard. Some of you serve for two years, some for twenty or more. Some enter into service at a tender age looking for opportunity. Some are following a longstanding family tradition. You are mothers, fathers, sons, and daughters. We, thank you for your service.

You spend days, weeks, and even years away from your family. You are not always there to teach your daughter to ride her bike; perhaps you missed your son’s first steps. Because you serve, you can’t always be counted on to attend the baseball game or the teacher conference. With your service comes sacrifice. Sacrifices made by both you and your family. We thank you and your family for your service.

Thank you for being ready and on alert so that we can go about our business without even thinking about the “what ifs”. Thank you for putting yourself in harms way. Thank you for giving us your time, your energy and your youth. Thank you for representing us with honor where ever you are stationed.

Regardless of whether you serve us at home or in foreign lands, in time of war or peace, we thank you for your service.

On Memorial Day we remember those who gave their lives in our service, on Armed Forces Day we honor those currently serving. On Veterans Day we honor all who have served our country from the Revolution in 1776 to today. Thank you.

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Thinking No Funeral? Think Again.

Thu, 24 Oct 2024 04:00:00 GMT

Maybe you’ve said it, or thought it? “I don’t need a funeral. You can just bury me in the backyard”. That’s the male version of negating the need for a funeral. But the sentiment is not unique to men. Women just say it differently. “I don’t want you to make a fuss. I don’t need a funeral.” These folks are right. The person who died doesn’t need a funeral. They just need a legal, respectful disposal of their body. It’s the people who are left to do the work of grieving that need the support and community from a funeral.

Princess Diana, Michael Jackson, Aretha Franklin, John McCain, and most recently Kobe Bryant, didn’t need the memorials, teddy bears, or flowers. We needed them. We need to be a part of acknowledging the loss. We find comfort in being able to be a part of the service that honors their lives even when our part is just being an observer via television. We are comforted, in some measure, just by being able to observe.

It is human nature to seek community in times of trouble and in times of joy. People are pack animals. We don’t live in isolation. We touch the lives of others. We celebrate birth with family and friends. We celebrate the coming together of two people in marriage as a group. We hold each other’s hand in times of tragedy. When we express our caring feelings, it is not weakness. It’s our strength. We are human beings, we care.

Having the opportunity to express our feelings is not expected to “cure” our grief. Coming together does not provide closure. The door never really closes on the love one human being has for another. Coming together, expressing our feelings in the presence of our community, are steps in the healing process. Being able to express our feelings in a safe, accepting environment provides some measure of healing.

Grief in the early days is raw. As time passes it softens. The hard edges become rounded and we begin to find the joy we had with the one we loved in our memories. Grief is hard work. It’s a journey.

Why should anyone have to begin this journey alone?

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Jewish Funeral Traditions

Thu, 10 Oct 2024 04:00:00 GMT

As we begin to learn more about religious practices outside of our own, it is sometimes surprising to find how much different faiths have in common. Mourners of all faiths understand the power of grief and the comfort of community. So, what happens when a person of the Jewish faith dies, and how can a person outside that faith support a friend or neighbor who is grieving?

In order to support a person of the Jewish faith when they have experienced a loss, one must learn about the Kaddish and sitting Shiva. According to Jewish Law anyone who has lost a parent, sibling, child, or spouse recites Kaddish every day beginning with the funeral and continuing for thirty days after the death. The Mourners Kaddish is a prayer, a profession of faith. The prayer is a listing of God’s holy attributes. Jewish law requires that sanctification of God’s name and requires ten voices … a minyan. This requirement of a minyan assures that the mourner is not alone. For thirty days the Mourners Kaddish is recited in the presence of at least ten people. According to Anita Diamant in her book Saying Kaddish… “The power of Kaddish comes, in large measure, from the consolations of being in a group that recognizes and embraces the bereaved”.

The Hebrew word for funeral is Levayah, which means “accompanying”. There is no religious requirement for clergy to be present at a Jewish funeral. The responsibility is on the family. The service does not address the ideas of heaven, redemption or reunion, the focus is on the life of the deceased. The service is simple. Here are no flowers or music, the casket is lowered and all in attendance participate in covering the coffin. Once the casket is lowered the business of caring for the dead is ended. The focus now shifts to mourning and supporting the family in their grief.

Shiva or “sitting Shiva” is a time for the bereaved. Traditionally Shiva lasts for seven days, although in modern times that is sometimes abbreviated to three days. It is a time to “sit” with grief. During Shiva the bereaved do not work or play. No calling into the office, no cooking, no dishes, no television or video games. Shiva is a time to do grief work. It is a time to explore emotions and feelings, to cry and to laugh. It is a time to share memories, tell stories, and receive consolation.

When a Jewish person dies:

Expect the service to take place the day after the death.
The service will be held either at a funeral home or a synagogue/temple
There will never be an open casket
The service will be led by a rabbi
The rabbi may deliver the eulogy or eulogies may be delivered by friends or family
Close friends and family will attend the interment. All who attend the interment will participate in filling the grave.
As the closest members of the family leave the gravesite, they pass between two rows of relatives and friends.
Do telephone or visit the bereaved
Do bring food, to be on the safe side, bring kosher food
Do not send flowers
Do make a contribution to a favorite charity in honor of the deceased
When calling on family members who are sitting Shiva expect to stay for 20 to 30 minutes. The Mourners Kaddish will be recited twice a day, morning and evening. A guest should stand when the mourners stand and read along with the prayer in English
The one-year anniversary of the death is marked with a ceremony, yahrzeit. This ceremony is by invitation only and usually involves a service at the synagogue and “unveiling” of the tombstone at the cemetery.

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What Is a Celebration of Life?

Thu, 26 Sep 2024 04:00:00 GMT

Do you have to be rich or famous to have a celebration of life?

The celebration of life is the personal or individual aspect of a funeral service. It is about the person who died. It is about their relationships, their loves, their passions, their accomplishments, their beliefs, their talents. It is about what and who they cared about as they lived their own unique life. How did they make a difference?

A person does not have to be rich, or famous, or even publicly successful to have had a life that can be celebrated. Maybe they were simply a dependable friend, or a loving parent, a great teacher, or just fun to be around. Isn’t that enough reason to celebrate?

A celebration of life can be compared to a couple writing all or part of their own vows for a wedding ceremony. It is the part of the service that is about the person. It can be the cookies they baked, the children they raised, the oceans they sailed, the buildings they built. What made them who they are and different from the person who was in this funeral home last week? Why will they be missed?

Believe it or not, every person is unique. We all have a unique fingerprint, ear shape, and “thermal plume”. Our own little cloud formed of a combination of 44 compounds given off by our bodies as we strut our stuff around town. We are unique. That is what a celebration of life is all about, who we were and how we touched others as we lived our life. Anyone can have a Celebration of Life.

A Life Celebration is not an either-or proposition as in “should we have a religious funeral or a Life Celebration”. It is an and also proposition . You can have both. Especially when a person has a strong belief system that is just part of who they were. Talk to your funeral director. He or she can help you both honor faith and celebrate life.

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How Can We Use Pictures at a Funeral?

Thu, 12 Sep 2024 04:00:00 GMT

Saying good-bye to someone you love is hard. Using pictures at the funeral of the person who died is a wonderful way to help tell a life story. There are a variety of ways to use photos.

Using photos that span the entire life of a person—Mom as a little girl on the farm, as a young bride, a mother, at work, and as a grandmother—just brings it all back. Pictures trigger memories and that is one of the important functions of a funeral. You want to remember the life, not just the illness or accident that ended the life.

A lot of pictures may not be required to tell the story. A few pictures can be enlarged and displayed around the room. If you have a lot of pictures that your family wants to use, they can be displayed in photo frames or albums. Many funeral homes are equipped with electronics that make it possible to show photos on large screens or televisions. These video tributes can be woven into the format of the service or stand on their own for people to view at will. Ask your funeral director for ideas and how they can help you achieve your goals.

Taking the time to come together and go through the family photos can be a healing process on its own. As you are putting together the photos be certain the entire family is well-represented. Everyone will enjoy seeing themselves with the family member who passed.

Remember: funeral directors are helpful people. They want your family to have a good experience. Still, they may not be aware that you have an amateur film producer in the family. Be sure to share the talents that your family has at their disposal as well as your family’s vision for the use of pictures at the funeral. A good picture is worth a thousand words. By all means, use those words and bring out those pictures for the funeral.

Cooking for One …The Perfect Egg

Thu, 29 Aug 2024 04:00:00 GMT

The Wednesday before Thanksgiving, standing in the checkout line at the local market, a woman looked up and saw a man gazing longingly at her cart which was full of food. As he looked at the food, he said, “I should learn to cook.” As the conversation progressed, he shared that his wife had died awhile back, and he was still eating frozen dinners. He should learn to cook.

As it turns out, cooking for one is one of the most difficult hurdles a person faces when they lose their life partner. The first step is deciding to cook. Change the way you view cooking. Try looking at making food for yourself as an opportunity, rather than a chore. Take on the challenge of making simple food perfectly. Try to see something positive in the experience. One woman said she can eat when she wants and what she wants. That is her positive. She turns on the TV for company. You deserve to eat well.

Mastering the egg is a great place to begin. A lot can be done with an egg. Eggs can be stored in the refrigerator for weeks and can be used for any meal. Start with a few egg basics. Do cook your eggs gently. Lower the heat and cook them for a little longer time. When cracking an egg, tap it on a flat surface like the kitchen counter rather than the edge of a bowl or pan. This will prevent getting eggshells in your dish. To prevent rubbery egg whites always wait to salt your eggs until after the white is set.

Scrambled eggs are not just for breakfast. They can also be brunch, lunch, or even supper. To make a lovely scrambled egg the most important thing is to get air into the egg mixture. That is what makes them light and fluffy. So, crack a couple of eggs into the bowl add a tablespoon of milk, cream, half and half, sour cream, crème fraiche or even coconut cream. Then use a whisk or a fork to whip the eggs. Elbow up! It is all in the wrist, get some air in those eggs. Melt two tablespoons of fat such as butter or margarine, oil, or spray the pan with a cooking spray. Add the eggs to the fat and stir gently. Remember, medium heat not hot. Cook until they are the way you like them – soft and a little runny or dry. Just before plating your eggs, sprinkle with salt and pepper to your taste.

Hard-boiled eggs have a lot of uses. They can be added to a salad, or chopped with a little celery, onion, mayo and mustard to make an egg salad sandwich. Hard boiled eggs are also a good snack. A properly made hard-boiled egg will have a solid but moist yolk. Green rings around the outside of the yolk are an indication of over cooking. Place cool eggs in the bottom of a saucepan cover with cool water and bring to a boil then turn the heat down and simmer the eggs for seven to eight minutes. Remove the eggs from the pan and put them in a bowl of ice water. Once they are cool, crack the egg on the bottom (not the side) and peel under cold running water. Older eggs will peel the easiest.

Making a Frittata is easy and provides a hearty supper. A frittata is a good way to use leftovers. Served with a small salad or rolls, it makes a complete dinner. Prepare an oven proof skillet and eggs as for scrambled eggs. Before you add the eggs to your skillet, sauté your vegetable and or meats in the pan. Some good combinations include broccoli, potato, and ham or spinach, red onion & bacon. Really, just use what you like and have on hand or left over. Once your veggie mixture is cooked, pour in your eggs and add a handful of the cheese of your choice. You can even top the egg mixture with tomato slices if you are a fan of the tomato. Pop the mixture into a 375-degree oven and bake until puffed and set. Cut and serve. Yum, look what you made!

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Choosing Music for a Funeral

Thu, 15 Aug 2024 04:00:00 GMT

Should we play music at the funeral? What music can we play at the funeral?

If it is given some thought, music can say everything about a loved one.

Too often the power of including music as a part of a funeral service is overlooked. There is a lot to think about when planning a funeral so it is easy to see how music can get lost. There are many ways music can be woven into the service. It can be played as people arrive or depart. Music can accompany the presentation of pictures and it can be played at the graveside. Music can have a little tiny part in the service or have a bigger role.

Almost everyone has “their song” or a band they grew up listening to. A surprising number of folks have musical talent. Maybe they played an instrument or sang in the choir. The music that is played at a funeral can help tell the life story. If as a child, you were forced to endure Frank Sinatra on any road trip you took with your parents, why not include a little Sinatra in their funeral service?

When selecting music for a funeral think more about the person who died and the music they listened to, and less about finding appropriate funeral music. The music you select does not need to be about loss, it just needs to remind folks of the person they loved. The music will mean more to those attending the funeral when the link to the person they loved is clear. If that musical talent trickled down to the next generation, ask a grandchild or child to sing or play at some point during the service.

Not sure about what music mom really liked? Check out her records, CD collection, or playlist. You will likely find what you need. Talk to your funeral director, funeral celebrant, or clergy person to help you determine when and where to use music.

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What is Direct Disposition?

Thu, 21 Dec 2023 05:00:00 GMT

What is direct disposition?

Who can provide this service?

When does direct disposition make sense?

Direct disposition is a term used to describe burial or cremation that takes place directly following death. The deceased is removed from the place of death and taken directly to be either buried or cremated. There is no preparation of the body or opportunity for family members to see the body before the burial or cremation takes place. A memorial service may follow direct disposition.

Direct disposition providers include cremation societies, direct disposal facilities, and funeral homes. Cremation societies may contract in advance to provide cremation for a predetermined fee. Most often the fee will include removal of the body and transportation to the cremation facility provided the death occurs within a prescribed geographical range. If death occurs outside the area additional fees will be charged. Frequently these cremations take place in very basic stripped-down facilities similar to a warehouse or a strip mall. They are typically no frills, no public admittance buildings. They are usually the lowest cost alternative with the least amount of service options when someone dies.

Direct disposition can also be arranged through a funeral home. In this case the family will be offered the option of viewing either with or without embalming before the cremation takes place. This viewing can be particularly important to family members who live in a different part of the state or country. These folks often have a need to see the deceased if they were not present at the time of death. The funeral home will transfer the deceased from the place of death to the cremation location. The funeral home can also help with a memorial service held either at the funeral home or even an off-site facility.

The option of Direct Disposition makes perfect sense for families with a religion that dictates the body be either buried or cremated within a brief period. It can also fill a need when the budget is very tight, or the person has little or no family connections. Sadly, some people make this decision based on dollars alone without considering the impact on family and friends. They never check with their local funeral home to learn about the services available and the cost of those services. This can add needless pain for family and friends.

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Why Using a Family Owned Funeral Home Matters

Sun, 10 Dec 2023 05:00:00 GMT

If you are like most Americans you are probably shopping local, but maybe you have not stopped to think about why you are drawn to working with local businesses.

Researchers tell us local businesses are more likely to utilize other local businesses, making our communities stronger. For every $100 you spend at a local business $68 will stay in the community. Locally owned independent businesses return more than three time as much money to the community in which they operate than chain competitors. Locally, family owned funeral homes hire local, use other locally owned businesses when they need service, and contribute to the community.

All of that is important. However, when a family member dies, few of the reasons discussed above are likely to come into play as you pick up the phone to call a funeral home. There is one reason that is top of mind in that situation, and it does matter. It is there right in front of you even if you are not fully aware. When something is important, like how your family experiences the death of a beloved family member, we all seek accountability. We want a provider who is connected to us. When it is something important, we want someone who cares about how they do their job. We want someone who will see us at church or at the ball field. We want to use a funeral provider that is accountable to the community.

It is the reason we like the locally owned appliance store over the big box store. Our local store cares if the microwave works. If it does not work, they will fix it. It is the same reason we like to shop at the local farmer’s market. The big chain supermarket might hide the old soft berries at the bottom of the basket. The farmer, who is your neighbor, will not. When a service provider is your neighbor, they are accountable for their work. You know where and how to reach them to tell them they did a good job, or where they did not meet your expectations. We all know full well accountability is hard to get from the big guys. Just take a moment to think back to that last call you made to your cable or internet provider. How long were you on hold? Accountability is the reason we choose locally-owned whenever we can.

A family-owned funeral home is connected to the community and answers to that community. The funeral director’s children go to school with your children. They know you and understand your needs. If you are fortunate enough to have a family-owned funeral home in your community, place your trust in them when the need arises.

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Thinking of Your Own Mortality

Thu, 23 Nov 2023 05:00:00 GMT

According to the Center for Disease Control, the average life expectancy for a person living in the United States is 78.6 years. Women on average live slightly longer than men. Our own mortality is not something most people think about on a daily basis. However, it is something that bubbles up in our consciousness from time to time.

Sometimes the death of a famous person who was a contemporary of ours will trigger the thought that someday we will be gone. Even a major purchase like that of a new roof can trigger a reality check. Do you want a roof that is guaranteed for 50 years or will you spend less and get the 30-year roof? A near miss with an illness of your own or a friend’s experience with an illness can be a reality check. At times like these, people understand the fragile nature of life.

When the thought that you will one day die hits you, most people start to consider their preparedness. Have you and your spouse talked about and made the decisions that will assure arrangements go smoothly? Will your children have the same idea of what you would like done? Or are they all singing from different song books?

How many times have you thought about doing something about your level of preparedness? How many times have you let that thought go without taking action? It is easy to procrastinate about getting your funeral arrangements in order, written down at the funeral home of your choice, and informing your children of your plan. After all, it is the last thing you need to do. Really, the last.

However, it won’t be the thing you want to do when you get to the end. No one is guaranteed of advance notice of their death. For some it is sudden and unexpected. The thing is, it is much easier to get this little job done than most people think.

The funeral home of your choice has a person on staff who is designated to help people of all ages plan their funeral in advance. There is usually no cost for this consultation. Getting a plan in place is a great relief for you and it is a thoughtful gift for your family. When you die, deciding what should be included in your funeral will not be something your family wants to do either, but they will have no choice. They will appreciate your kindness toward them if you have provided them with guidance.

The year is drawing to a close. Perhaps it is finally time to make the call and set up a time to meet with the advance planning professional at the funeral home of your choice.

The process is easy. Nearly every person who makes the call ends their time with the advance planner by expressing relief and commenting, “this was so much easier than I expected.”

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Talking with a Veteran

Thu, 09 Nov 2023 05:00:00 GMT

Talking with a veteran of the more recent wars or conflicts such as Vietnam, Afghanistan, or Iraq can be intimidating. You may have a parent or spouse who served in Vietnam who has never shared anything about their experience with you. The Vietnam War was different from wars in the past in that the value of the war itself was questioned and many of those who served came home to a hostile public. It was not a hero’s welcome. Their story may have been bottled up all these years and time is running out for families to learn about their loved one’s experience.

Since the Vietnam War, a small percentage of the U.S. population has served in our armed forces. This means the Vietnam experience is not shared by the broader population and those who did not serve can’t possibly understand what war is like. Not understanding can make us uncomfortable about starting a conversation. As a result, veterans can feel isolated while we remain unaware.

How can we push past our discomfort? How can we talk with these people we love and appreciate about a period in their life that was so very important to them? It can be tricky depending on how well you know the veteran. Below you will find some tips to aid your conversation with a veteran:

During the discussion:
Take your time, go slow
Plan to LISTEN
Listen without comment or judgment
Listen to learn, not to tell.

Below are some suggestions you can ask:
Would be willing to talk with me about your experience?
What service were you in?
What inspired you to join?
What does your service mean to you?
Would you mind sharing what you are currently doing?

Depending on how well you know the veteran, you may want to avoid so of the topics/questions below:
Don’t ask if they killed anyone or saw any dead bodies.
Don’t be surprised if they don’t want to talk.
Don’t ask about PTSD.
Don’t make it about you.
Don’t think you know what it is like to go to war unless you have been to war.

It is always a good idea to do your homework and study the war prior to your discussion. And most of all, express your appreciation for their time and service.

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Jack be Nimble and Quick … Get Your Affairs in Order!

Thu, 26 Oct 2023 04:00:00 GMT

One thing we have come to realize this year is the value of being nimble, agile or light footed. Our world has been turned inside out. We have all come to expect the unexpected and to realize that little is certain. Getting a handle on life in 2020 has been a little like nailing Jell-O! Being flexible and prepared has become more important than ever before.

Many of us have reevaluated our preparedness for everything from fire and flood to shortages of toilet paper and food. Being prepared, in this uncertain world, relieves anxiety. We just feel better when we have a stash of canned goods and a couple of cases of TP at the ready.

No one wants to think about a family member losing their independence or becoming ill or worse: dying. Still, it is something we should consider. Is there someone you could become responsible for if they fall ill? Do you have a medical power of attorney for that person? Is there an advance directive for health care? Is there a funeral plan? Who would be responsible for you if you were the one who became ill and not able to make your own decisions? Does that person have a POA for you? Have you provided an advance directive? Do you have a funeral plan? Does your designated person know who to call and what you would want them to do?

The documents that meet the legal requirements in each state for a medical POA and advance directives are generally available on-line. A funeral plan is something you do with a funeral director or funeral planner. Nearly all funeral homes have someone on staff designated to help people in their community with advance funeral planning. This service is usually provided free of charge and the funeral home will keep a copy of your plan on file at the funeral home.

Funeral plans are, by design, nimble. They are portable so if you move you can take them with you. They can also always be changed and updated should your ideas about your service change over time.

If you have been putting off taking care of any of these documents, now is the time. You will feel better when it is all done and in order.

www.snyderfuneralhome.com

Planning a Funeral for Someone in Hospice Care

Thu, 12 Oct 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Having a family member in hospice care is not easy. There is no denying death is near. Sometimes the care is difficult, especially when the illness is painful. Life is coming to an end.

Sometimes the funeral is something that the person who is dying wants to talk about. They open the discussion. They want to actively engage, maybe even provide instructions. This can be hard for the family. It may even be tempting to hush the person who is dying rather than embrace their desire and use it.

When a dying person wants to talk about how they will be remembered, it is a gift. It is an opportunity for them to reflect on and share the high points of their life. What was important to them, what it is they loved about their life. What the dying person needs from their family is for those around them to listen. Take it all in. These last requests are an opportunity. They provide the occasion to learn about favorite songs, readings, and stories. These requests can provide the basis for a meaningful funeral that helps family members begin to heal. Hold the hand, share the memories, no need to act … just be.

Of course, this is not the experience everyone has with a family member in hospice. Often the illness and the care that is required is so devastating that it is all that those closest can handle. Still, there is one decision that will need to be considered. Often, as a part of the hospice admission procedure, the family will be asked to designate a funeral home of choice and determine disposition of the body. That is to decide if there will be a cremation or a burial.

Knowing which funeral home to call is helpful. When choosing a funeral home most families will choose the funeral home their family has worked with in the past or the one members of their church have used. Perhaps a family member has attended a funeral that really resonated with them and would like to use that funeral home. Which funeral home to call is really the only decision that needs to be made at this stage. All of the rest, even the bury or cremate question, can wait. The funeral home will help you with everything else when the time comes. There will be time.

The funeral, how a family chooses to remember a beloved family member creates a lasting impression. The funeral changes the focus from the illness that brought about death to the full rich life that was lived. It is the opportunity to remember the childhood, loves, talents, and experiences that made up the fabric of a loved one’s life. The funeral doesn’t heal the pain of the loss that comes when someone we love dies but it does begin the process of healing.

When you have a loved one in hospice care you are in well-trained, caring hands. The medical professionals will walk you through all the stages, they will tell you what to expect, they will hold your hand and relieve the pain of the person you love and are losing. When death comes the funeral professionals take your loved one and your family into their care. The funeral professionals will help you put together a funeral service that honors the person you love and lost.

www.snyderfuneralhome.com

To Plan or Not to Plan Your Funeral in Advance

Thu, 28 Sep 2023 04:00:00 GMT

How does Advance Funeral Planning affect the first hours before a funeral and the days and weeks that follow?

Making the call : When a loved one passes, contacting the funeral home is the first thing that needs to be done.

When a funeral plan is in place and on file at the funeral home there is no question as to who to call. The deceased has left a clear message. The stunned, tired, grief-stricken family just makes the call and the funeral home takes your loved one into their care.

When a death occurs and no plan has been recorded at a funeral home, the first order of business is deciding which funeral home to call. The stunned, tired, grief-stricken family must agree upon who they will trust to guide them through this difficult time. Which funeral establishment will help them honor their loved one in a way that satisfies all their needs and fits their budget.

The evening before the arrangement conference :

When a plan is in place the family can take this time to comfort each other. They can share memories. They can go through pictures or just rest. Tomorrow they will meet with the funeral director and review the plan their family member put together with them in mind.

For the family with no plan in place, tomorrow will bring many questions and decisions. Tonight, they will be weighing in on the big question, burial or cremation. They will be figuring out how much to spend and who will pay for the funeral. They will need to decide which of them will participate in the arrangement conference. They will need to consider and agree upon how to honor this life.

The days and weeks after the service

The family with the plan has no doubts, no second-guessing and no regrets. They know they did the “right” thing. They know they spent the right amount of money. They miss the one they lost but they have no regrets about the service that honored their loved one’s life.

Sadly not all families are able to pull together following the loss of a family member. Some are pulled apart because they disagree about decisions great and small. The days and weeks following a death are tense and emotional. It is a difficult time to be making group decisions.

www.snyderfuneralhome.com

What to Expect with Cremation?

Thu, 14 Sep 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Cremation has been around for thousands of years. It is required by some faiths and forbidden by others. Governments, charged with protection of the public health and aesthetic of the community, have laws governing both cremation and burial practices. One way to view burial and cremation is to look at each as a means to the same end. Dust to dust. Cremation is quick, and burial is slow. Either one is a legal and acceptable means to the end. Most people understand what burial is about, but questions remain about cremation.

Cremation takes place in a chamber designed specifically for the purpose of reducing human remains to basic elements. This chamber is called a retort, cremator, or cremation chamber. One human body and only one at a time is cremated in the cremator. The body is clothed or shrouded and placed in a container before being placed in the cremation chamber. The container is made of a combustible material.

The cremation process takes from 2 to 3 hours. The time varies based on the size of the body and heat capacity of the cremation chamber. Typically, the chamber reaches between 1500 and 1900 degrees during the cremation process. The body is reduced to bone fragments. After cremation the chamber cools and the contents are swept clean, any metal is collected, and the larger bone fragments are crushed. The finished product is greyish white in color and is similar to the consistency of aquarium gravel. It is coarser than dust or ashes.

On average, four to six pounds of cremated remains are produced. The height of the individual has more impact on the amount of remains than the weight of the person. The composition of cremated remains is largely calcium carbonate. There are several options of what to do with remains. It is important, and sadly often overlooked, to have a plan for cremated remains that is acceptable for the family.

Cremated remains can be buried in a cemetery. Many cemeteries allow one cremated family member to be buried in the same grave space along with another family member. This option is a cost savings since a second burial space is not needed. It also gives family members the benefit of having a location to visit and remember.

Ashes can also be scattered on private property or buried at sea. See epa.gov for the laws regarding burial at sea. There are also services that will assist a family with carrying out a sea burial. It is always advisable to work through your family funeral home. Your local funeral director will know who to call and who can be trusted to carry out your family member’s wishes.

It is also possible for family members to keep the remains in an urn or in attractive jewelry pieces. The best person to help you sort out all of these decisions and choices is your funeral director or advance funeral planner. Both typically offer consultation at no cost.

www.snyderfuneralhome.com

Why Children Should Be Included in a Funeral

Thu, 31 Aug 2023 04:00:00 GMT

When a child falls and scuffs a knee, we kiss the boo-boo. A boo-boo kiss doesn’t really make the injury “all better” but, it is an important first step. It acknowledges the injury. The child is comforted that an adult is in charge. They know they are not alone. The hurt knee might need stitches, or it might just need some soap and water and a super hero bandage. Either way, the boo-boo kiss is the first step to things falling into order.

A funeral is like a boo-boo kiss. Everyone needs to start somewhere when someone in the family dies. The funeral, regardless of its form, acknowledges that life has changed for everyone. Gathering together provides an opportunity to give and receive comfort. It provides an opportunity to share memories. The child can see that he is not alone in his feelings of sadness. The funeral is for all family, friends, and, yes, the kids.

Psychocologytoday.com suggests that children be asked if they wish to attend the funeral. The child chooses. This means an adult should be able to tell the child what she can expect so the choice is an informed one.

When children are a part of the family experiencing loss, they should be considered from the very beginning of funeral preparations. Those family members making arrangements, should ask the funeral director about how children will be accommodated. Ask about a family lounge where kids may take a break. Ask if you can bring snacks for the younger ones.

The adults in charge should be sure they have all the information needed so they can properly prepare the children in the family. A funeral isn’t easy, it does not make the loss less acute, and nothing can make it “all better.” A funeral is an important first step to a healthy adjustment to loss. Kids should be included to the extent they wish to be.

www.snyderfuneralhome.com

Planning a Memorial Service: Do it Yourself or Call the Funeral Director?

Thu, 17 Aug 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Who fixes the toilet at your house? The self-appointed plumber or the professional plumber? Some call the professional before the not-so-handy handy person takes the lid off the tank. We know, from experience, what happens once that lid hits the floor and the tools come out. It all starts out calm, cool and collected. The fixer asks all family members if they just happen to have one of those little ball chains laying around. Then it progresses to a shout to turn off the main (because water is spraying all over the bathroom) rapidly. What we end up with is a handle that must be jiggled just so after each flush and a big mess on the bathroom floor. Not to mention the hurt feelings and self-esteem issues when the professional is finally called.

Sometimes a professional is just the best possible choice. This is equally true when it comes to planning a memorial service. Call the funeral director. The funeral director knows how to put together a memorial service that will meet your family’s needs. The funeral director is a skilled communicator. That means he knows how to listen and mediate just in case family members are not on the same page. The funeral director has done this many times before. He knows who can help with the pictures, the food, the music, the doves, the bagpipers, the fireworks, whatever it takes to help your family honor the life of the one you lost.

Funeral directors are trained professionals. They have met the educational requirements of your state. They have passed the exam. In most instances they have served a lengthy apprenticeship. They have not only learned how to take care of the body of the deceased, they have learned how to take care of YOU.

Jiggling the toilet handle after each flush is a mild annoyance. Tip toeing around your sibling because the memorial for your parent was not just right is so much bigger. Call the funeral home and ask how they can help you.

www.snyderfuneralhome.com

Who Should Write the Obituary?

Thu, 22 Dec 2022 05:00:00 GMT

When a loved one dies, posting an obituary is an essential part of the funeral planning process. Obituaries tell community members when and where the funeral will be, but they also share just how special your loved one was with the world. But who writes obituaries? There are a few options and restrictions when an obituary is published.

Where do you publish an obituary?

When you work with a funeral home, it’s likely that you’ll be publishing an obituary to their website. Many funeral home websites share the obituaries of decedents they are serving. These obituaries are often free of charge, and they can also function as somewhat of an online memorial book. It’s common for funeral home websites to have a tribute wall, where family and friends can engage. There they can share memories or words of support, but it’s also where they can upload photos, which helps you when you’re looking to gather photos for the funeral. A funeral home obituary can also make it easy for your loved ones to order flowers or other items through the funeral home, ensuring that their gifts arrive in time for the ceremony.

For religious loved ones, you could also share their obituary on their church’s website or in local religious publications. If your loved one was well-known in their industry, you could contact industry publications to ask them to print the obituary. You can also share the obituary on social media to reach extended family and friends directly. Perhaps the easiest option is to write an obituary for the funeral home website and then share that directly on social media. That way, your family and friends will have the link to the funeral home’s location, donation services, and other important information.

We often think of obituaries as being associated with newspapers, but whereas an obituary on a funeral home website is free, writing one in a newspaper can get very expensive fast. Still, a newspaper obituary can allow you to reach members of your community who aren’t connected to you via social media. It’s up to you if you think the cost of publishing an obituary in a newspaper is worth reaching that additional audience.

Who should write the obituary?

Whether you’re taking out a newspaper obituary or just planning to share one on social media, you have a few options for how you want it written. Many funeral homes offer obituary writing services, which can take some stress off of family members. If you choose to have a funeral director write your loved one’s obituary, make sure that you provide them with enough information to paint a picture of who they really were. When a funeral director writes an obituary, they will need to rely on you to describe your loved one’s life.

Your other option would be to write the obituary yourself. Even if you don’t feel like much of a writer, writing an obituary is less about perfect words and more about telling the story of who your loved one was. The best obituaries tend not just to share a person’s biographical information. They don’t tell the reader who they were; they show them through stories and memories. They demonstrate the decedent’s sense of humor, inquisitive mind, and other aspects of what made them unique. A funeral director would have a more challenging time writing those stories because they weren’t there. Even if you recount those memories to them, it can be difficult for a funeral director to truly understand and share your loved one’s voice.

If you’re hoping for an obituary where you tell your loved one’s story, you’re likely better off writing it yourself. But if it’s a more straightforward obituary, where you don’t have the space to go too in-depth, letting a funeral director write it can take some stress off your mind.

What should be in an obituary?

Newspapers generally have a character limit . If you’re taking out a newspaper obituary, you’ll likely have to keep it short and to the point. Expect to pay more if you end up going over the limit. For a shorter obituary, you should include:

Your loved one’s full name
Their age
Their date and place of birth
Their date and place of death
Where they lived
Their closest family members, including parents, spouses, and children
When and where their funeral service will be held
Information on where donations can be sent

You may find that all that information fills up the character limit, or you could have some space to go more into detail about their life. But since newspaper character limits are usually pretty strict, you may have to save all that background for an obituary you can share elsewhere. In addition to the above information, a more extended obituary can include:

Your loved one’s profession
Their hobbies
Their education
Their volunteer work
Interesting tidbits about what made them unique

Funeral home websites generally don’t have as much of a set limit, so it’s up to you to determine how long you want your loved one’s obituary to be. You’ll have much more space to show readers just how special your loved one was than if you used a newspaper alone.

Whether you’re writing an in-depth obituary or a shorter, simpler one, you can choose to write it yourself or have a funeral home staff member write it for you. But if you do decide to have someone else write it, be sure that you provide the writer with not only plenty of background information but also stories that show who your loved one was.

www.snyderfuneralhome.com

The Gift of a Note to Your Family

Thu, 08 Dec 2022 05:00:00 GMT

Nothing means more to a grieving child, spouse, sister, brother or friend than a personal note from the deceased. It’s something that will be cherished. The note will make its way out of it’s safe keeping spot whenever the mourner needs to feel close to the person who died. It will be read on those tearful days that are sure to come. It will also be read on those days that are full of joyful remembrance.

The note doesn’t have to be eloquent. It doesn’t have to be brilliant or witty. It doesn’t have to be long. It just needs to tell the person how you feel about them. The writer might also include what they liked about recipient, enjoyed doing with them, or how the person was helpful. The note can express gratitude or love. It can include a shared “remember when” story. In the end it’s a love note. A personal connection that lasts even when life has ended.

So, when do you write these notes and where do you keep them? There really is no need to wait. Write your notes today or tomorrow as you live your life. They can always be revised and updated. Waiting may mean that you never get around to it. Remember, life is fragile.

If you have an advance funeral plan on file at your preferred funeral home, you might ask the funeral director to keep them for you. Just imagine how lovely it would be for your family to receive your note at the conclusion of their conference with the funeral director to finalize your arrangements. If you don’t have a plan on file, make sure someone in your family knows where the notes are kept and when they should be distributed.

“We are fragile creatures, and it is from this weakness, not despite it, that we discover the possibility of true joy.”
― Desmond Tutu, The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World

www.snyderfuneralhome.com

Dad Died. What Do I Do with the Pills?

Thu, 24 Nov 2022 05:00:00 GMT

Prescription medication is expensive. Just that fact can be an understandable motivation for some risky business. When my father died, my mother was asking everyone, “Aren’t you on blood pressure medicine? You take this heart pill don’t you? What do you take for depression?” Her plan, no waste. My mom will also save four string beans when dinner is over. The beans I can live with, the pills I think we are treading on thin ice. It’s just best to follow the FDA recommendations.

In order to keep drugs from falling into the wrong hands (little people, pets, and addicts) the FDA recommends that you dispose of all medication as soon as possible. They suggest three options.

Take Back Programs :

These are periodic events scheduled in your community for a specified date and time. In addition, some communities have permanent collection sites, you can find the location of permanent collection sites at the FDA website .

Disposal in Household Trash:

Many medications can be disposed of in the household trash following this process.

Mix – the pills with dirt, cat litter, or coffee grounds. Do not crush the pills

Seal – the mixture in a plastic bag

Throw – the bag in the household trash

Scratch – scratch the information on the prescription label off the bottle and discard

Flushing down the toilet:

FDA recommends that a short list of drugs be immediately flushed. These drugs are dangerously addictive for children and others who have not been prescribed the medication. A complete list of these drugs is posted on the FDA website .

www.snyderfuneralhome.com

The History of Veterans Day

Thu, 10 Nov 2022 05:00:00 GMT

Veterans Day, a national and state holiday, serves as a day for Americans to come together to show their deep respect and appreciation for the military veterans of our country. It is the one day a year when we pause, reflect and show our gratitude to all those who are serving or have ever served in our military. So how did it come to be?

What we know today as Veterans Day was originally called Armistice Day. On November 11, 2019, we celebrate the 101 ^st anniversary of the armistice that ended World War I. This armistice was signed at the 11 ^th hour on the 11 ^th day in the 11 ^th month of 1918. At the time, we believed World War I was “the war to end all wars”. One year after the armistice, President Woodrow Wilson proclaimed November 11 ^th as Armistice Day to commemorate the end of World War I. In his address to his “fellow-countrymen” delivered from the White House on November 11, 1919, Woodrow Wilson praised the contribution of the American people and shared hope for the future.

With splendid forgetfulness of mere personal concerns, we remodeled our industries, concentrated our financial resources, increased our agricultural output, and assembled a great army, so that at the last our power was a decisive factor in the victory. We were able to bring the vast resources, material and moral, of a great and free people to the assistance of our associates in Europe who had suffered and sacrificed without limit in the cause for which we fought.

Out of this victory there arose new possibilities of political freedom and economic concert. The war showed us the strength of great nations acting together for high purposes, and the victory of arms foretells the enduring conquests, which can be made in peace when nations act justly and in furtherance of the common interests of men.

To us in America the reflections of Armistice Day will be filled with solemn pride in the heroism of those who died in the country’s service, and with gratitude for the victory, both because of the thing from which it has freed us and because of the opportunity it has given America to show her sympathy with peace and justice in the councils of nations.

Of course, lasting peace was not to be. After the Second World War, Alabama veteran Raymond Weeks had the idea to expand Armistice Day to honor all veterans. On May 26, 1954, President Dwight Eisenhower signed into a law a bill presented by Congressman Ed Rees from Kansas establishing Armistice Day as a national holiday eight years after Weeks began celebrating Armistice Day for all veterans. Congress amended the bill on June 1, 1954, replacing “Armistice” with “Veterans,” and it has been known as Veterans Day since.

Memorial Day honors those who died in service, Armed Services Day honors those who currently serve. Veterans Day honors ALL veterans. Thank a Veteran on November 11 ^th and be very proud and happy to go to bed tonight in the United States of America.

www.snyderfuneralhome.com

Mother Died…How Long Do We Keep Her Things?

Thu, 27 Oct 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Separating from a loved one’s belongings is one of the more difficult jobs you will have to do after a death. It is amazing how much is collected over a lifetime. You probably won’t get it done in a day and you will probably shed a few tears.

Ask for help. Accepting and asking for help is harder than you might think. It is hard to turn over the decision of what goes and what stays to someone else. If your offer of help is refused, be understanding. Your mother may need to handle every one of your deceased father’s possessions before anything can go. Give her some time and then offer to help again a little later. Offering to box or bag after items have been sifted through is a huge help.

If you are the decision maker, consider providing some guidelines and then letting go. It’s a big job. Some help will be nice.

First contact your family members to determine what they might be interested in having. Give people some notice and a time limit, “If there is anything that you want from Mom’s wardrobe please come and get it before next week. I am going to sort through then and will be giving things to charity.”

Second, make it a goal to handle things once. To keep you on track, get boxes, bins or bags and mark them FOR CHARITY, FOR TRASH, TO KEEP. Keep those boxes moving. At the end of the day take the trash to the trash and the charity to the donation site so that you won’t be tempted to go through them just one more time.

If you are thinking about having a sale, think long and hard. People haggle at tag and garage sales. Are you emotionally prepared to dicker over the value of your dad’s favorite tie or his collection of fishing lures? Might it be better to think of his things finding new homes with people who need them? Sales are a lot of work, be kind to yourself, avoid taking on too much.

Procrastination won’t make the task easier. If you cannot take care of the sorting and giving, turn the job over to someone else. If you are a procrastinator, storage units have your name written all over them. Calculate the annual cost. Ask yourself, “What will change between now and next year?” Have a plan. When does the storage end?

Memories are attached to our stuff. You will no doubt take more than a few walks down memory lane. Slow down and enjoy the journey. A life is over, but it’s not forgotten.

www.snyderfuneralhome.com

What to Look for When You are Buying Final Expense Insurance

Thu, 13 Oct 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Cost is important, but it’s not the whole story. Take a look at the premium, the amount you will pay each month, how long will you pay that amount? It is not uncommon to pay until you are 100 or even older. Will you be able to pay that amount each month as you age? What if you live to be 100? Will the benefit stay in place? How much will you have paid in by that time? It’s not unheard of for people to end up paying more than they will receive in death benefits.

Look at the coverage. How much will be paid on your death? Most policies are for a fixed amount your family will receive when you die. This is the death benefit. How soon will you be covered for the full amount? Sometimes you will need to make payments for as long as two years before you would be eligible for the full death benefit. Often the death benefit stays the same over the course of your lifetime. So, as you age and the price of funerals increases, your policy is at risk of falling short and not providing your family with enough to cover the cost of your funeral.

Before you sign anything, call your local funeral home. Ask for an appointment with the funeral professional who takes care of advance funeral planning. When you meet with this individual be straight forward. Share your financial situation. See what the funeral home has to offer.

Most of the time the funeral home’s funding program is a little more per month but you make payments for a much shorter period of time. So, you pay much less in the long run. If you are in good health you will most likely be covered as soon as the policy is issued. Some funeral homes even offer a cost guarantee which means you have no worries about the rising cost of funerals.

It’s always worth the extra time to be sure you are getting the best final expense coverage you can afford. The one that will really be there for your family when it’s needed.

www.snyderfuneralhome.com

Too Little Too Late – A Memorial Gone Wrong

Thu, 29 Sep 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Yesterday, Jane was on duty as a tour guide at a lovely little pre-revolutionary war church in rural Virginia. It was late in the afternoon when a youngish woman wearing shorts and a Cubs ball hat stepped into the visitor’s center looking lost. Thinking that she might need directions, Jane quietly approached to offer her assistance. The seemingly lost young lady said she just wanted to go in the church.

Since visitors were not allowed in the church without a docent, Jane began to accompany her guest to her destination. Striking up a conversation, Jane quickly discovered there was a story behind the sad eyes of her visitor. She revealed her name was Stella and she was here from Chicago. The pair talked a bit and Jane started to tell her about the church. As they walked and talked, Jane casually asked, “What brings you to this part of Virginia?” Stella spoke in a soft tone revealing she was here for a “sort of” memorial service for her mother. The pain was obvious on her face with her lips quivering and eyes glistening with small pools of tears.

They walked into the church and sat in one of the high back pews carved from pine when George Washington was just three years old. The sun was shining through the wavy glass windows. Jane took Stella’s hands and asked her, “Would you like to tell me a little bit about your mother?” The floodgates opened. She talked for an hour. She told the story that was her Mom.

Stella was the single daughter. She had been the caregiver for her mother who died ten months ago. Her brother lived abroad and her sister and her family traveled frequently. Because it was hard to get them together, they all decided to forgo a funeral service and ship Mom’s cremated remains to Virginia for burial. It seemed, at the time, to make more sense to get together later.

They agreed on June for the get together since that’s when their family typically came to visit mom and dad in this part of Virginia. They all stayed at a local inn and had dinner at their parent’s favorite restaurant. It was nice, but something was missing. There was no service. No words were spoken for Stella’s mother. It wasn’t enough for her. It was too little and too late.

It was obvious to Jane that Stella was distraught. There had been no closure. Jane’s heart broke for her. Still, she couldn’t help but wonder why. Why was there no service? Even something small, private and simple would have been better than nothing.

Jane knew some people had a fear of planning a service. They don’t know how to or what to plan. They are at a loss. They should have they called the local funeral home for help. The funeral director could have helped them find someone to pull together a brief ceremony at the graveside or in the chapel. There could have even been a service in the lovely little church where Stella sat and cried with a stranger.

www.snyderfuneralhome.com

It’s Not Really a Funeral Plan if it’s Not at the Funeral Home

Thu, 15 Sep 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Can I just say that funerals stick in the mind of a loved one years after a death? It’s important that you get it right . Please don’t put your wishes in the drawer with the rest of your files. Oh, and that thing where you tell the kids what you want. That’s not the best either.

Here’s what often happens:

The plan in the file – It might be part of the estate plan or stuck in with the financial advisor’s paperwork, or just written on some paper. It is highly likely that it will not be found until well after the funeral is over. In the hours following a death there are literally more than a hundred things to do. Trust me, I’ve seen the lists. People count this stuff. I know because I’ve just been through it myself. There is a lot to do over a short period of time when someone dies. Your family will not be going through the files.

They will not know you wanted to wear your blue dress and that you wanted The Wind Beneath My Wings sung at your funeral. They just won’t. So, imagine the anguish when they find your “plan” two weeks after the funeral service is over.

Imagine how they are going to feel when they realize they buried you in the wrong dress and sang the wrong song. Terrible. That’s how they will feel. Sadly, they’ll feel that way for a very long time.

You’ve told your kids what you want – Seems like it will be ok, but maybe not. My friend Martha and her two sisters have not been on speaking terms since their mother died. Seems everyone heard something different from Mom regarding what she wanted. The twins heard she didn’t care “do what you want”. So, when mom died visiting one of them a Southern Baptist service was arranged. That service stunned Martha who was raised Catholic and heard mom say she wanted “a service just like the one we did for your dad.”

Call the funeral home, make an appointment and get everything written down and on file at the funeral home. It’s easy and there is not charge for the appointment.

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Should I Go to the Funeral?

Thu, 01 Sep 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Why should you attend a funeral? The presence of family and friends at the funeral is appreciated. We gather to acknowledge a life that was lived. We gather to comfort those for whom life has just been forever changed by the death of someone they loved.

If you care for one or more of the survivors, you should attend the funeral (even if you did not know the person who died). Your friend will appreciate your presence. Being there shows that you acknowledge that your friend’s life has changed in some way. Your presence shows your support.

If you knew the person who died but do not know their family, you should attend the funeral. Your presence demonstrates your respect for human life in general and the life of the person who died in particular. Perhaps you worked with the person who died. It is comforting for the surviving family to know the person they loved was also appreciated at work.

If you are hesitating because you are unfamiliar with the person’s faith and fear you will embarrass yourself or feel like a fish out of water, go anyway. You will be fine. You can prepare a little in advance by looking for some information online about the funeral customs of the family’s faith.

When should you stay home? Anytime you are going to a funeral and you know it will make one or more members of the immediate family uncomfortable, perhaps you shouldn’t go. If going is more about you and less about the deceased or the surviving family, don’t go. A funeral is not a place to prove a point.

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Moving After a Spouse Dies?

Thu, 18 Aug 2022 04:00:00 GMT

One of the realities of losing a spouse or a parent is the impact that event has on living arrangements. Are we living in the “right” place? Is the house too big? Is it too far away from family? Will my surviving parent be safe where they live? Should I move to be closer to mom or should mom move closer to me?

These are tough questions and they come at a time when emotions are running so very high. They also come at a time when income has likely decreased, perhaps requiring a change be made sooner rather than later. Conventional wisdom says wait at least a year before you make any big changes to your living situation, but the reality is waiting a year may not be financially possible. If you are able to slow down and let the dust settle a bit, that is no small blessing.

Really, it all boils down to three considerations: happiness, safety, and finances. The surviving spouse needs to be in a place that not only works financially, but also is safe and happy. You are going to need to use both your rational mind and your emotions if you are to make the best decision.

On the face of it, the financial consideration seems to be the trump card. After all, you have to be able to afford where you live. However, it is not always that simple. When the happiest place is affordable but not the most frugal choice, then maybe happy trumps financially smart? Decisions based on both emotion and rational thought are usually the best decisions.

That emotional happiness factor also impacts the safety issue. Perhaps the safest living arrangement isn’t going to be a happy situation? In that case, put your rational mind to work on finding a way to make the happy place safer.

You have to find the best fit answer for your family. As you are weighing those three considerations, resist the temptation to base the decision on what you think may happen or will happen down the road. Consider the wisdom of making decisions in the present, based on present circumstances. So, if dad is safe, happy and can afford to stay in his present home maybe no change is necessary … for now.

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Funeral Home Near Me

Wed, 22 Dec 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Even if you live in a small town, you are likely to be presented with more than one choice when you google funeral home near me. The search will provide you with contact information, location, and perhaps a link to websites of the funeral homes near your immediate location. The search is a useful first step, but most people need more to help them decide which funeral home to use. The eight steps below should get you started on solid footing.

Check with family members to find out if your ill or deceased family member has a prearrangement on file with any one of the local funeral homes. If your family member has taken this step in advance, everything just got easier. You’ll not only know exactly who to call but you’ll also know just what needs to be done.

When there is no advance plan the first thing you will need to do is to pull together the decision makers. Who in the family is going to take the lead in making the funeral arrangements? Often, but not always, this will be the person who will be financially responsible. Who in the family has been the caregiver? Which family members have strong opinions about what should take place?

Bring your group together. Talk about what your family will expect or want in the funeral service. Is your family large or small? Was the deceased well known in the community? Does one funeral home stand out over another as being able to accommodate the number of people who will likely attend the funeral?

Which funeral home has your family worked with in the past? Have you been pleased with the services provided? When there is no history with a funeral provider in the community you may want to ask trusted friends or your clergy person for a recommendation.

Give some thought to what your family will want or need to support the service desired. In addition to knowing if there will be a burial or cremation or a service before or after either of these forms of disposition, you’ll want to think about space, specialized equipment such as screens, microphones, audio/visual, even parking can be a deciding factor in which local funeral home to use.

Once you have a general idea of what you want, you can begin to call the funeral providers you are considering. Tell the person who answers the phone your situation, “We have a family member in the last stages of life,” or “We have a family member who has just died.” Tell the person what you want to know. “We would like to _____. How will you help us with this if we decide to use your funeral home?” If cost will play a part your decision-making process, ask for information. The most useful information regarding cost is a price range rather than the least expensive. You and your family will have preferences. One family may value the vault over the casket. Funeral service is flexible in order to meet each individual family’s needs. Basing the decision of which funeral home to use on the cost of one aspect of the service may lead to lost opportunity and may not even be the most cost effective in the end.

Ask for a personal visit, schedule some time with a funeral director. Tour the facility. Ask for a general price list. Go over it with the funeral director, ask questions. You will be best equipped to decide which product and service options best suit your family when you have all the information you need.

Finally, take a deep breath. Allow yourselves enough time to get it right. Funerals are emotional. They leave lasting impressions. Be considerate of the people you love. A funeral that focuses on healing the hearts of those left behind brings families together.

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When is it too late to have a funeral service?

Thu, 09 Dec 2021 05:00:00 GMT

The amount of time that has passed since the death should not be the deciding factor when considering scheduling a service of remembrance for someone you loved. Especially now, when so many people have been required to postpone or eliminate celebrating a loved one’s life because of the pandemic. Instead of time, let your feelings be the deciding factor.

Many people are feeling off-kilter, just not right, about not having a funeral service for a family member. A funeral, celebration of life, or memorial service does not provide “closure”, there is still grief, but it does provide a very important milestone. The service is a public acknowledgement of the loss of someone dear. It is a pivot point. It is that moment in time when those who are grieving change their focus from the cause of death to remembering the life that was lived and the love that was shared. When we do not hold that milestone event, when we are not able, we feel unbalanced. It’s as though we have left something important undone. That feeling is what should drive us to do something regardless of the number of days, weeks, months, or years. It’s never too late to remember and honor the relationship with a person you loved and lost.

So, what can you do? You can call your funeral director and ask for ideas or help with execution of the ideas you and your family are already considering. Perhaps, the eulogy, more than any other aspect of a funeral, memorial service, or life celebration, is a key point. Think about how and where you want to eulogize your loved one. You may choose an informal venue, a faith-based venue, a club the deceased belonged to, or a restaurant where they liked to break bread.

You may choose to schedule the remembrance service on the anniversary of the death. Or you may choose the deceased’s birthday, or her favorite holiday, or even a day when his favorite team has a big game scheduled.

Although there is nothing quite like an in-person gathering where folks can talk, cry, and hug each other, sometimes that just isn’t possible. If you find yourself feeling that something is missing, get creative. Find a way to share your memories. Write that eulogy, mail it, post it, or Zoom it. Share it with others who were close to the person who died.

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Is It Bad Luck to Plan Your Funeral in Advance?

Fri, 26 Nov 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Definitely not. In fact, if one were to ask the children and family members of those who planned their funeral in advance how they felt about their family member’s foresight they would no doubt tell you they felt very lucky indeed.

Imagine this: your phone rings or buzzes or sings and you answer or check your messages only to find out someone you care about has died. Maybe they succumbed to a long and difficult illness or perhaps the death was caused by an accident or a sudden unexpected medical event. What happens next? If you are one of the family decision makers, you begin to come together. That coming together can mean a drive across town or it may involve booking a flight. It can mean a series of telephone calls or a Zoom style family meeting. There will be questions that need to be answered and decisions that must be made.

Where did the death occur? Who do you call to transport the body? Where will the body be taken? Which funeral home will be used? When will a service take place? Will there be burial, cremation or something else? Will there be a spiritual component? Who will prepare the death notice? Who will take care of writing the obituary? How much will everything cost and who will pay? How soon will funds be available? There will be many decisions that must be made in a short period of time.

Now, imagine there is a plan in place. Funeral arrangements have been made and paid for in advance, maybe even years before an illness was even known about. Imagine family members knowing exactly who to call, what will happen, how much it will cost and how all the services will be paid for. Luck is with those who prepare. It’s called making your own luck.

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Three Ways to Support Someone Who is Grieving in Isolation

Fri, 12 Nov 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Grief is difficult in perfectly normal times. However, when a global pandemic has us isolated, we lose two important comfort and coping mechanisms. Hugs are very hard to come by these days. In normal times the physical touch of a hug fills the vacuum when a person who loves another is at a loss for words but wants to show they care. Those who are grieving now, isolated and alone, have also lost another important coping mechanism. Distraction, via activity, is lost to many. Bridge groups are not meeting, church services and events are cancelled, volunteer activities have been suspended, all leaving mourners with many hours to pass alone.

If you know someone who has experienced a recent loss, look for a way to offer support and show you care. Three suggestions are:

1. Use your words. Make it easy, use the phone, make a call. For many, some of the newer technologies like Zoom and FaceTime may be frustrating. When a person is in the throes of grief learning something new can feel as realistic as climbing a mountain on a whim. While it’s great to see a face, being available to listen and to just talk is valuable. Make it easy. Make it regular. Set up a regular call time like coffee on Monday morning, cocktails at five on Friday, or lunch on Wednesday. A regular repeating time has the added benefit of giving both the caller and the person who is coping with grief something to look forward to. The more “you get together” the less you need to worry about what to say and what not to say. Conversation will become natural and will expand beyond the loss.

2. Offer to help where you can. Sometimes folks who are grieving get stuck. They are overwhelmed by a long list of little tasks that may seem simple to the rest of us. Where can I take the clothes? How do I safely discard medicine? How do I change the furnace filter? How do I get these leaves raked? Even the grocery store can feel overwhelming. Ask how you can help. Make a few suggestions. Keep in mind some people are not comfortable accepting help. Offer to do something specific. If that offer is not accepted, next time ask in an open-ended way such as “where could you use help”? If all else fails, just show up and pull the weeds.

3. Do something kind and unexpected. Bring dinner, buy a flower, put on your mask and offer a ride to the cemetery. Send a journal. Think cozy and warm. Drop off a hot chocolate kit, a mini pie, a scented candle or warm socks. Be creative. Show you care and be kind.

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What is the difference between a Funeral Director, Mortician, Undertaker, and Embalmer?

Fri, 29 Oct 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Cemeteries – A final resting place

Fri, 15 Oct 2021 04:00:00 GMT

If you are of a certain age you may have grown up as a “free range child”. Children born after the second world war, mid-century modern kids, were very likely to participate in unorganized free play. Meaning, they roamed a geographic territory, outlined by their parents, unfettered. They played with other neighbor children until the dads came home or the bell was rung or some other prearranged signal that meant it was time to go home and wash up for dinner.

This free-range system left the door wide open for children to have all kinds of adventures. Arm and arm with a best friend, a cousin, or a brother or sister, they creek walked, caught tadpoles, made clover chains, left pennies to flatten on the railroad tracks and … they walked the cemetery.

If you were one of these kids, you knew the spell of the cemetery. Maybe you remember it still? Cool shade from tall trees. A feeling of calm reverence. As you walked the rows you avoided stepping on the graves. Inspecting the head stones, you looked for the person who lived the longest. You may also have been surprised to find the marker of a child who died at about your age. A beloved wife, mother of six, a loving husband, people who served in the armed forces, touching the carvings on the markers you understood the value of their life. As a child you could feel the presence of the souls. The cemetery was a mysterious, yet comforting place.

A cemetery is still a very special place. It is a final resting place. Knowing that a family member is buried in a peaceful and serene location brings comfort to family members. It’s nice to have a place to sit quietly and remember a mother, father, husband, wife, family member or a friend. Visiting the grave of a loved one feels like getting a hug.

Today, somewhere in the neighborhood of one half of Americans choose full body burial as their final disposition. In addition, many others who prefer to be cremated choose to have their ashes buried or placed in a mausoleum at the cemetery. Tucking a deceased loved one into a safe and serene green space gives family members a sense of security. Family members may live close by or at a great distance, they may move hither and yon, but they always know where the one they loved is resting.

As you plan for your own funeral, final disposition, and where you will rest, talk with your funeral director or advance funeral planning professional about options the cemetery offers. Maybe “old fashioned” and traditional is the perfect fit for you and those you love?

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Cremation Near Me

Fri, 01 Oct 2021 04:00:00 GMT

When looking for a cremation service close to home, your first call should be to your local funeral home. The people there, who are a part of your community, know all about cremation. The funeral home will either provide cremation at their facility or will have extensive experience with local crematories. Either way, you can rest assured the cremation of your loved one will be carried out with the proper care and respect.

Funeral homes provide a full menu of services. You choose. Use only what suits your family. Cremation providers, on the other hand, tend to offer cremation of the body only. Often no care is offered for the mourners. There is no help or guidance should the family like to have an opportunity to host friends who share the loss or to celebrate the life that was lived. Your local funeral home can help you put together a very small service or a very large service depending on the needs of your family.

Disposition of the body is only one aspect of what needs to be done when someone dies. Cremation is not the end. Cremated remains will either need to be buried, scattered or retained for generations by a family member. Very often cremation only providers will return the cremated remains of your family member by mail in a bag or box. The funeral home on the other hand will provide help and guidance regarding legal scattering, products that support family retention of cremains, or burial and retention in a columbarium niche.

When your brain is fuzzy because you have lost someone dear to you, clarity is important. The last thing a family needs are hidden costs and surprises. The widely advertised prices for bare bones cremation frequently do not include everything you need and certainly do not include what you may want. When those items are added to the cost many people have found they are spending more than what they would have had they engaged the services of the local funeral home.

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Saying Thank-You to a Veteran

Fri, 17 Sep 2021 04:00:00 GMT

There are a million ways to say thank you. Great or small they all have value.

Decide to always just say thank you whenever you see a person in uniform.
When you see a person in uniform at the coffee shop or fast food restaurant pick up their tab if you can.
At the airport trade your first class or comfort seat for their standard seat
If you have a neighbor who is deployed offer to play catch with the kids or mow the lawn. Ask how you can help
Send a care package by contacting Operation Gratitude
Donate your old cell phone
Drive a Veteran to their doctor appointments (contact the hospital services coordinator at the local VA hospital)
Write a letter
Volunteer at a VA hospital
If you run a business hire a veteran – Hire Heroes USA
Donate dollars or time to train service dogs for veterans – Patriot Paws or Puppy Jake Foundation
Build a house for a veteran – Building Homes for Heroes

Big dollars or only a few dollars, lots of time or only a little time, where there is a will there is a way to say thank you to those who serve in our military.

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Who Becomes a Funeral Director?

Fri, 03 Sep 2021 04:00:00 GMT

The funeral director is often the son or daughter of a funeral director. They grew up understanding the contribution the job brings to the community. Funeral directors are helpers. It’s more than just being understanding and compassionate. Funeral directors know what to do. They can guide a family that is in disarray due to a sudden loss of a family member. They know exactly where to begin when no one in the family has any idea what to do.

For the funeral directors who did not grow up in the business, they were drawn to the profession by their own memorable experience with loss. Having been comforted and supported by a funeral service themselves, they chose to enter the profession to help others. Funeral directors are helpers.

According to the National Funeral Directors Association , 16% of their member funeral directors are women. You can expect to see that number increase as 61% of current mortuary school students are female. Some suggest the increase in women entering the profession reflects changes taking place in the funeral service itself.

The idea of celebrating the unique life of an individual who has died opens unlimited possibilities. Today’s funeral directors are increasingly involved in coordinating with clergy and a whole host of family members and others to ensure the service reflects the life of the person who died. This planning and developing a personalized service is appealing to many women.

The profession has always taken care of the deceased, lifting that burden from families. Today’s directors still take care of the one who died, but the real emphasis is on helping the survivors begin a healthy grieving process.

Who becomes a funeral director? People who care, people who can lead, people who can mediate, people who are team players, people who quiet chaos. In short, people who help.

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Why don’t we celebrate life while the person is alive?

Fri, 20 Aug 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Interesting question, isn’t it? The person asking the question had recently attended what he described as a “fabulous funeral.” Turns out the funeral was billed as a celebration of life. Our questioner, Mark, attended because the person who died was the mother of a co-worker he had worked with for more than 30 years.

Mark was so impressed with the woman’s talents, interests, and accomplishments, all of which were highlighted during the service, he said he wished he had known her. The service got him thinking. Perhaps the deceased would have enjoyed seeing how much her neighbors, friends, grandchildren and children thought of her? Mark was thinking it might be better to celebrate a person’s life BEFORE they die.

What about that idea? Don’t we do that? Celebrate a person’s life while they are alive. It’s called a birthday party. Maybe we hold back a little. Perhaps we don’t gush over the person’s accomplishments as much on the birthday because the birthday boy or girl is too humble to feel comfortable being lauded while present and breathing?

So, is the value of a wonderful life celebration/funeral diminished because the person it was all about isn’t there to enjoy it? Or does the “value” of a funeral run deeper than that? Isn’t a funeral a validation of the significance of life in general? Might the fact that Mark was so moved by this ordinary women’s life inspire him to make more of his own? Isn’t it a worthwhile lesson for all of us to take a few hours and remember a person who died? Each of us is unique. Each of us walks a different path. Shouldn’t just about everyone’s life be summed up with a “fabulous funeral”?

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Enjoyable New Year’s Resolutions

Sat, 26 Dec 2020 05:00:00 GMT

New year, new you. It’s an exciting concept full of promise, right? Then we take all the fun out of it by resolving to do things we don’t like to do. We’ll lose weight, eat healthier, exercise more, give up ice cream. Ugh, no fun at all.

So how about selecting enjoyable resolutions instead? Some ideas to get you thinking are listed below:

Do more of something you love . Read more books, go fishing more often, spend more time with your kids or grandkids, binge-watch your favorite series from the start again. Just enjoy and give yourself a big old hug in the form of having fun your way.
Get better at something you really like to do. Take a lesson, learn to cook something new, improve your golf swing, learn a new knitting stitch, or just build on what you love.
Make a dream come true. See the mountains or the Grand Canyon. Go to the opera or to Disney. Buy the car, lease the car, or rent the car of you dreams for a weekend. Just complete the following sentence and do it: “I’ve always wanted to _______.”
See your town like a tourist . Everything fun doesn’t have to require a lot of money. Most of us have attractions, restaurants, natural wonders or parks close to home that we haven’t visited in ages. Just go.
Make lots of new friends. Some friends are for life while other friends can be for just for a few hours or minutes. Try smiling and talking to the cab driver, the checkout person, or the person next to you as you walk into or out of church.

Enjoy your life. Seize the day. Happy New Year!

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Holiday Conversations

Fri, 11 Dec 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Lots of folks will have the opportunity to sit down and talk with their parents, siblings or children over the next few weeks. For some, the holidays may be the only time during the year has at least one hot topic it’s best to avoid. But there is one subject that should be tackled, even if it seems hard, while everyone is together.

It’s not the birds and bees talk. It’s the final wishes talk. Has the burial or cremation question been answered? Does everyone know about funeral preferences? Open casket or closed casket, religious or not, what do your parents want their closing ceremony to look, sound, and feel like?

How in the world does one approach this subject? Probably not at the dinner table or while opening the gifts or after too many egg nogs. Find a quiet time. Maybe over a cup of coffee in the morning or on a walk after dinner. Consider putting a frame around the questions that establishes why it’s important to you, to know.

Something like this, “I love this family. It’s always so great when we get together. You know I think about all of you even when I am not here. Sometimes I worry about how we will all handle the tough times when they come. What happens if one of us is sick or dies. It would help me if I knew what you would want us to do if you were sick or if we needed to put together a funeral. Can you help me?”

It’s a tough conversation to have. But it was also hard for your parents to talk to you about birth control and drugs. Still, those were important conversations and they helped. This one will help as well. Getting started is the hardest part. The reward might be holding your family together through what is always one of the toughest times for any family. When a parent dies.

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Grief is individual

Fri, 27 Nov 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Let’s talk about the stages of grief. There is denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I studied them in nursing school, reviewed them when I got divorced and generally found them to be a pretty accurate and helpful bit of knowledge. And then, a family member died. Stages?

In our house it was more like we all went to the amusement park and were all on very different rides. Up and down, round and round, quiet and loud. We were definitely not that family walking together peacefully along a path through stages. We were all a bunch of nuts. Although we love each other, we were dangerously close to coming apart at the seams.

I don’t think we are the only ones. Death is the number one stressor for families. I’ve seen families break under the weight of illness and loss. Funeral directors will tell you the hardest part of their work is dealing with families who are emotionally fragmented.

We all experience grief differently. It’s a singular journey. But you have to get along. If you don’t work it out you risk losing your family, not just the one member who actually died. So, what helped us?

Deep breathing and listening, I mean really listening to understand not just hear. Recognizing anger as an expression of fear. Seeing frenzied activity as a coping mechanism for helplessness. Making room for each other’s ways of expressing love.

Accepting the prayers and the mementos even when the prayers aren’t ours and the memento is not what we would choose for a funeral.

Being tolerant of each other’s needs and expression of their personal grief. Looking for what’s motivating the behavior not just the behavior itself. Being kind and tolerant. Hugging the huggers and giving the non-huggers their space. Letting go of judgment and making room for differences. I mean really, so what if your sister cries loudly? What’s the harm?

The days before a funeral, the time during the arranging of the funeral and weeks following a funeral are not easy. You and your family can come out of it broken or stronger.

snyderfuneralhome.com

The cranberry sauce is for dad

Fri, 13 Nov 2020 05:00:00 GMT

People often say that one of the hardest things about that first year, the year after your loved one died, is that no one uses their name or talks about them. The hole in your heart begins to feel deeper and wider because talking about them seems forbidden. And as the holidays approach, the quietness can feel even more painful. So, why not take the bull by the horns, so to speak, and find a way to bring your loved one to your holiday gathering in a light but meaningful way. A good example of keeping your loved one in your holiday gathering is the family that always includes that jiggly cranberry sauce straight from the can on their table. There it is – just as it comes from the can – indentations, ridges, and all. Every year it’s there for dad. Every year it is ceremoniously placed on the table accompanied by a few words about how important it was to dad’s enjoyment of the holiday. Every year it brings lots of smiles and stories about dad. If you have lost someone dear, and you miss them more at the holidays, consider opening the conversation, using their name, and talking about them in a positive way. snyderfuneralhome.com Comments on this Article November 13, 2020 This is beautiful and insightful. We all struggle with what to do and say after losing a loved one. Thank you for your guidance. Ruthie McIlvenna

How to Thank a Veteran

Fri, 30 Oct 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Three hundred and sixty five days a year, twenty-four hours a day, rain or shine, hot or cold, from the year 1776 to present day, they’re serving our country. They are our veterans and November 11 ^th is the official day that we honor and thank them each year.

So what can you do to show your appreciation? Here are a few ideas:

Attend a parade or remembrance event held in your community
Brush up on your patriotic etiquette
Teach your children things such as when to stand for the American flag or what to do during the playing of our National Anthem
Visit the gravesite of a veteran
Hang a flag in your yard
Support a veteran-owned business
Hire a veteran or the spouse of a veteran
Visit a veterans hospital
Say thank you to a veteran and his or her family

Did you know you can even hold a “Care Package Party”? Here’s how:

Invite friends to bring items for those serving away from home.
You can contact the US Post Office for help with packaging supplies for military care packages. Some items you could send:

Foot care products
Cotton socks
Flavorings for water
iTunes gift card
Snacks
Hand written notes expressing your thanks

Everyone is busy and on Veteran’s Day we’ll be inundated with advertising. It will be easy to see November 11 ^th just as another great sale day…but it is so much more. Perhaps the most important thing you could do is ask a veteran you know to tell you about their experience and then listen. Just really listen.

Flowers and Funerals

Fri, 16 Oct 2020 04:00:00 GMT

What’s the story behind flowers at a funeral? Well, back in the day before funeral directors perfected the art and science of embalming, flowers were used to mask the odor of the body.

In modern times flowers are no longer needed to mask unpleasant odors but they have come to be a part of the funeral for other reasons. When we struggle to find words to comfort a friend, flowers speak eloquently for us. They express that we care. Flowers can be sent from any place in the world to any place in the world. When we are not able to go to the service, flowers stand in our stead. Flowers are always in good taste and they are appreciated for the beauty and serenity they bring to the occasion.

Did you know different flower colors have different meanings? White flowers symbolize honor and innocence. In many religions, death means going to heaven and a return to innocence. White lilies, carnations, roses, and cushion poms are often used in funeral arrangements.

Red flowers are frequently given by a spouse or close family member. Red blooms symbolize courage, strength, and love. The red tulip is a symbol of perfect love. Blue flowers such as hydrangea and cornflowers represent peace and serenity. Yellow flowers symbolize friendship and new beginnings.

Flowers for the casket are usually provided by close family members. Funeral flowers are sent directly to the funeral home and are not usually addressed to a particular family member, but rather are sent in honor of the deceased. It is appropriate to send smaller cut flowers or plants of remembrance to individual family members at their home.

Flowers help us communicate feelings of the heart. Flowers speak for us and say we love you, we support you, we are proud of you, and we are with you on your grief journey.

In recorded time, and probably before, communities have understood the importance of gathering following a death. Paying respects to the deceased and comforting the survivors has been a part of life. Coming together when an important life event occurs is just natural. We come to see the new baby and we gather when a loved one’s life on this earth ends. We celebrate and remember with flowers.

snyderfuneralhome.com

Remembering a rabid football fan

Fri, 02 Oct 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Football, the American kind played with a spheroid shaped ball called a pig skin, is the be all end all fall activity for millions of Americans.

Fans purchase large screen televisions just to watch the game. Others set up multiple televisions in their game day viewing rooms. All manner of hats, shirts, blankets, sweaters, jackets, mugs, and glasses in team colors are sold each year. Added to the dollars spent on equipment and tickets to events, it all adds up to $100 billion spent each year by fans. Football fans are mighty in number.

It’s no surprise then when a fan dies and the family is putting together a funeral or memorial service, thoughts turn to how to incorporate the football passion in the service in a tasteful manner.

This is a great idea. One of the most important benefits of a funeral service is having the opportunity to gather with others who knew and loved this person and reflect on the good times had together. Why not include something he or she enjoyed?

So, talk to your funeral director. Ask for ideas. There are caskets and urns that are made for fans. A team blanket can be draped over the casket or the person. Don’t forget the music. Ask about having the team song or alma mater played at some point in the service. Consider printing the words to the song in the program so everyone can remember their friend and sing together.

Think beyond the things you can bring in or wear and ask the eulogist to share some of the stories that make you laugh. You know, the time the car was loaded with the entire family and they drove three hours to the game only to realize when they got there the tickets were left on the table at home. Share the story of the fabulous tailgate or the terrible tailgate, freezing in the cold, or getting soaked in the rain, or losing the car in the parking lot. There are bound to be stories. Talk about how much friends and family enjoyed sharing the football passion with the person who died.

It all pulls people closer to the one they loved. Remembering the life, not just the cause of the loss, is the beginning of learning to live with the loss.

snyderfuneralhome.com

Making the Funeral About the one who Died

Fri, 18 Sep 2020 04:00:00 GMT

A “personalized” funeral is not just for the rich and famous. When someone we love dies, we want to remember that person. We want to celebrate the life that was lived. A life story does not have to have a dramatic plot twist or culminate in fame and riches to be worthy of remembrance.

So, how does one go about putting together a life celebration?

Pictures are a great place to begin. Look for pictures that span their lifetime, show their personality, celebrate their relationships and friends, put them in the context of their work, hobbies, or passions. Most funeral homes now have equipment to create a video that can be shown in a loop on a television or larger screen. It is also relatively inexpensive to get photographs of those milestone moments made large. Ask your funeral director how these can be displayed at the funeral. They can also direct you to local retailers who will be able to assist with photographs.

Consider integrating pictures with the eulogy. For example, the eulogist might share stories about the childhood years of the person who died while childhood pictures are shown in the background. Don’t be shy about asking the funeral director for what you envision. Maybe you would like two different video tributes. One might showcase family life and one sports, hobbies or special interests. Just ask, because funeral directors want the service to be meaningful for the family and friends. They are there to help you honor your loved one.

Music can also be a great background and can be integrated into the service. Nearly every family has someone who can put together a playlist. Choose musical favorites of the deceased. There are also many songs that relate to death or loss in every musical genre from country to classical. Be sure to check with your funeral director to make sure the format for the music you would like to use is compatible with the funeral home’s equipment.

There really is no end to the ways you can express the personality and interests of the person you loved and lost. Talk about your ideas with the key people in your family before you attend the arrangement conference with your funeral director. Then just ask away. Can we bring the dog? Can we bring in some of Mom’s artwork? Can we give everyone a golf ball? Just ask. You might be surprised to find your funeral director has some helpful ideas for a fitting farewell.

snyderfuneralhome.com

Finding YOUR Joy

Fri, 04 Sep 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Even months after the funeral it’s not uncommon to feel just not exactly right. We all lose our way from time to time. Things happen and we can’t find our JOY. It’s not really so much gone, as it is misplaced. Life feels dull and the days seem to drag. No matter what the circumstances, if you look for it, you can find your own personal JOY again. However, you will have to work a bit to find it and reconnect.

To begin, you must put on your little super power cape and take control. You’ll have to take ownership of your joy. Terrible things happen to us in life. Illness of a loved one, your own illness, even the death of a loved one, there really are a lot of things to be unhappy about. You can, however, experience joy in spite of adversity. Make a positive decision to take your personal joy into your own hands and get it back!

Start by connecting with your senses, hearing, touch, smell, taste, and sight. Take them one by one and dig in. What sounds bring you joy? Maybe it’s the sound of little kids on the playground, or the Beatles, or waves crashing on the beach. Get out a piece of paper and make a list. You may be surprised at how many little tiny things you enjoy related to your senses.

Once you have identified things you like to smell, touch, taste, hear and see, you need to make a plan to get at least one of those things in your life on a daily basis. Turn on the music you love, buy yourself a bouquet of flowers, bake one little chocolate chip cookie every day! What the heck, they make that frozen cookie dough for a reason! Get up early once a week and see the sunrise. Take a walk. Put joy back in your life in its simplest forms. Just go for it. It’s not that hard.

Once your senses are starting to wake up again, start to think about gratitude. What are you thankful for? That time your dad took you fishing, that your grandmother taught you the names of all the birds, fireworks on the Fourth of July or the beauty of a tree. The list is endless, humbling, and there is joy in gratitude. Be grateful.

It’s YOUR JOY. Take it back.

snyderfuneralhome.com

After the Funeral: How Are You?

Fri, 21 Aug 2020 04:00:00 GMT

It’s a question we all hear almost every day. “Hi, how are you?” But it has a different feel when you have recently lost someone you love. It just feels heavier. So how do you deal with that question?

It may be tempting to just sort of brush it off saying something along the lines of, “Oh, I’m fine” or “I’m doing ok.” It’s easy to go back into before your loss mode. But, are you fine? How do you get back to being truly fine?

Consider opening your heart to your closest friends. Let them in a little. The ones who are especially close to you truly do want to help. If you are struggling, say so. Then be specific about what is hard: “I hate eating alone. Sunday evenings are really lonely, I miss going to church with Frank.” Give people a little information that will give them some idea of how they might help.

As the days, weeks, and months pass and you are still struggling to find peace and normalcy, you might feel like your sadness is becoming a burden to your friends. So, you just clam up. No one wants to feel like a burden.

First, understand that you are not a burden to your family and friends. It is simply time to change your healing process.

When confronted with the “how are you” question, consider giving an honest but brief response followed by something positive about your progress. “I still miss Frank terribly, but I have started having Sunday dinner with my son and his family and that really helps.” You might even use this moment to take the bull by the horns and suggest something that you would enjoy doing with your friend. Ask if they would be available for lunch, dinner, or a movie. Take charge of your grief.

If your grief is stealing your gratitude and you really cannot see where you are doing better, try this. First thing, when you wake up in the morning, think about yesterday. What was good? Make a note of just three of your blessings. Maybe you enjoyed a long telephone call with your brother, or you finally made a decent egg for yourself, perhaps you have baby bunnies in your garden. Where were the little moments of gratitude.

If you look for little joys, you will find them. Those joys will feed your healing and grow the positives in your world. Don’t be afraid of the joy your life has to offer. Joy does exist after death. Don’t confuse your joy with not caring for your loved one. Make it a tribute to the joy he/she brought to your life. Making a habit of looking for and noting what you are grateful for in your life really can help.

snyderfuneralhome.com

Lifeline

Wed, 26 Oct 2016 04:00:00 GMT

Being thousands of miles from home, soldiers fighting to protect our freedom have little opportunity to hear the familiar voice of a loved one. For members of the US armed forces, receiving a prepaid calling card for 2.5 hours of talk time is a much-welcomed gift. Cell Phones for Soldiers was founded in 2004 by siblings Robbie and Brittany Barqquist, then ages 12 and 13, respectively. In its first 12 years, they have provided 220 million minutes of talk time to troops serving around the world to call home.

The organization accepts both monetary contributions and donations of cell phones, smart phones and tablets. Every $5 contribution or donated device equals 2.5 hours of free talk time on a prepaid card. Their Minutes that Matter program helps troops to call home at no charge; 3 million calling cards have been given to servicemen and women due in part of recycling 11.7 million cell phones.

In addition to Minutes that Matter, Cell Phones for Soldiers also had a program for veterans called Helping Heroes Home. Contributions help to provide one-time emergency grants to aid veterans making the transition from the front lines back into civilian life. Since 2012, more than 2,800 veterans have been served with physical, emotional and assimilation hardships.

The Charles F. Snyder Funeral Home & Crematory has been participating in this program through our membership with Veterans & Family Memorial Care since June 2011. Since that time, we have collected about 2,600 cell phones. Cell phones, smart phones & tablets can be dropped off at any of our four funeral homes, along with other selected locations. Just a note for the protection of your personal information – please remove the SIM card or wipe personal information to the factory reset. If donating an Apple device, please be sure to disable the “Find my iPhone” feature.

Thank you for your support of this program and for helping us to continue honoring those who make protecting us and our country their job. You can help to support our troops by donating your old cell phones and devices, or by making a donation at www.cellphonesforsoldiers.com .

Seeing the World with New Eyes

Wed, 05 Oct 2016 04:00:00 GMT

When my oldest daughter first needed glasses when she was 18 months old, one of the first thoughts that came to mind was, “How on earth am I going to get her to keep these things on her face?” One week later, her child-friendly, plastic purple glasses were ready and we brought them home. When we helped her put them on, she looked around and declared, “I see! I see!” Soon after she would show anyone who would pay attention what she called her “new eyes.”

At the Charles F. Snyder Funeral Home & Crematory, we want to help the less fortunate with tools to help them better see the world around them. We have partnered with Lions Clubs International Eyeglass Recycling Program to collect used eyeglasses for distribution around the world. The used eyeglasses collected at our four locations, our current count is 102, are gathered and distributed among the Manheim Township, Lititz and Willow Street Lions Clubs. One of our support staff members, Bill Grager, is tasked with coordinating the collection for us and has been kind enough to provide me with this background information. Thanks, Bill G.!

Upon receiving a group’s donation, the Lions then package and ship the eyeglasses to the Lions Eyeglass Recycling Center (LERC). There are 18 LERCs internationally, 11 of which are in the United States, and the recycling center we use is at the Katzenbach School for the Deaf in West Trenton, New Jersey. This particular location processes 1.2 million of the approximately 7 million pairs of glasses that are donated annually to the Lions Club. LERCs process the donated eyeglasses by cleaning, neutralizing, and designating prescriptions for distribution.

At the 1925 Lions International Convention, Helen Keller challenged the Lions to become knights of the blind in the crusade against darkness. The Lions accepted this challenge and sponsor initiatives to combat preventable blindness. As a result of this campaign, people in 20 different countries around the world reap the benefits, thus enabling the poorest of the poor around the world to experience improved vision for themselves…to have their own “new eyes.”

A Little Peace of Mind

Wed, 28 Sep 2016 04:00:00 GMT

Death by Chocolate

Wed, 24 Aug 2016 04:00:00 GMT

Every October, chocolate lovers descend upon the cozy little town of Lititz in search of one thing, and one thing only – CHOCOLATE. The Lititz Chocolate Walk is one of many annual traditions for locals and visitors alike. The event raises money for the local Kiwanis club, and this year’s proceeds will benefit child-focused programs at Schreiber Pediatric, Lancaster Cleft Palate Clinic, and the Lititz and Manheim Township Libraries. If you are lucky enough to have participated in previous years, you’ll probably agree that it is a feast for both the eyes and the taste buds. For those of you who have not yet taken advantage of this chocolate wonderland, you have no idea what you’re missing.

Here’s the skinny:

• The event is limited to 2,000 lucky individuals who will have bought advance tickets, which, and I do not relish having telling you this, are completely sold out. But do not fear because there is still hope! Rumor has it that if you check out the official Chocolate Walk Facebook page , you might be able to buy someone else’s additional or unused tickets. Why won’t they just add another 500 or 1,000 tickets to accommodate the masses? Well, here’s the thing, all of the chefs, bakers, and chocolatiers donate their confections. Does someone still make those chocolate sandwiches???

• There are over 25 stops on the tour, located at the downtown shops and businesses. Shopping AND eating chocolate?? Sign me up! With all of those chocolate goodies you will collect along the way, one valuable tip that I’ve learned from professional Chocolate Walkers, as well as from personal experience, is to bring a container so you can take some home, because you will get A LOT of treats! Trust me, you won’t be able to take those aforementioned chocolate sandwiches home with you, they demand to be eaten immediately.

• This year one of those stops will be at our very own Spacht-Snyder Family Funeral Home located at 127 South Broad St.! We will be offering samplings of dark chocolate without the bitterness, so if you want to eat more dark chocolate for the antioxidant benefits, but don’t particularly care for the traditional characteristics of dark chocolate, this may be for you! Not only will we be a chocolate stop, but we also will have bottled water and our home will serve as a restroom stop.

If you are fortunate enough to have your very own Chocolate Walk button and punch card, rest up and get ready to enjoy yourself – and be sure to visit our location to say hi to yours truly (and a few of my closest friends)! If you missed out on getting a ticket and have to wait until next year, then you and I will be sure to buy ours as soon as they go on sale in July! And if you happen to have a spare chocolate sandwich…you know where to find me.

Feeling Blue

Wed, 10 Aug 2016 04:00:00 GMT

A Very Special Night

Wed, 03 Aug 2016 04:00:00 GMT

Magic in the Family

Tue, 19 Jul 2016 04:00:00 GMT

Roses are Red…

Wed, 13 Jul 2016 04:00:00 GMT

Are flowers really necessary at a funeral? Is it a withering tradition? I mean, they just get thrown away after it’s over, right? People often state that flowers are pointless because they end up in the trash, but flowers add dignity and beauty to a service. Thankfully, the days of flowers’ main purpose of perfuming the room are gone. Today, flowers enjoy the privilege of bringing beauty to an emotional and painful event.

Other than being a token of respect for the deceased, flowers are a means of expression. They can be easier than putting feelings or thoughts into words by choosing a particular color, flower and/or design that reminds them of their loved one and what that person meant in their life. After spending the past several years working in environments where I’ve been exposed to countless funeral services, I can tell you first hand that flowers add a special gracefulness and beautiful scenery to a usually tearful service.

People are drawn to them and will often comment on how a relative or coworkers must have felt or how a certain flower reminded them of the deceased. Flowers add beauty and tranquility to a funeral. Attendees will often spend time looking at the flowers, particularly while mingling or waiting to visit with the family. The bereaved family will often visualize the flowers while reflecting upon the service.

The use of flowers as an expression of love and respect extends beyond the service to cemeteries when friends and family members leave flowers in memory of their loved ones.

Wouldn’t the money be better spent making a donation to an organization selected by the family? “In lieu of…” requests are well-meaning and a great way to honor a person’s memory by donating to a charity with which they were affiliated in some way, yet it can also bring mixed emotions. Some people who have attended services without flowers expressed that something was missing – the room felt cold and depressing. It is OK to express your sympathy as you feel comfortable, by either making a donation or sending flowers. It is also OK to do both.

Flowers are both symbolic and aesthetic. It’s up to you to allow your heart and emotions to dictate what kind of flowers you will send.

So Many Choices…

Wed, 22 Jun 2016 04:00:00 GMT

The Place I Call Home

Wed, 15 Jun 2016 04:00:00 GMT

My first post on the Charles F. Snyder Funeral Home blog was about our connection with the Lititz community, but now I want to give you a little insight into why I love this wonderful little town. Lititz is the place where I live, have chosen to raise my family and make our home. Although I’m not from here originally, Lititz has become my adopted hometown. Why do I love it so much? As a resident for the past twelve years, I have come to love this town and enjoy learning and experiencing more with each passing year.

My family feels the same way – whether it is a walk down the street, downtown for lunch, or a trip to the park, we enjoy the time together, the scenery, and spending time with our friends and neighbors. Lititz has offered us the opportunity to raise our family in a community dedicated to bringing neighbors and friends together for a multitude of events throughout the year. Whether we find ourselves at Second Friday, the Christmas tree lighting in the park, Fire and Ice Festival, or the upcoming July Fourth parade and celebration, it makes it even more fun to either attend with or come across several people we know.

The Lititz I know and love is a place where our neighborhood blends with the downtown area, and friends, familiar faces and friendly shop owners make a visit more enjoyable. If you haven’t visited in a while, I invite you to take a stroll down Broad and Main, stop in one of the unique shops, and have lunch in one of the fabulous cafes…if I’m free, I’ll join you!

There you have it, a little bit about the place I call home.

Honoring the unconditional love of a pet

Thu, 24 Sep 2015 04:00:00 GMT

It seems like time goes by so quickly these days, and everyone is always so busy. But pets can be a reminder to stop and enjoy a moment of harmony. They are not judgmental, disrespectful or ignorant. They show unconditional love, encouragement and can give their owners self-confidence.

Like many pet owners, the first person to greet me when I come home after a long day at work is my dog. He dances around, jumping with joy as if to say “Mom is home!” There’s nothing like seeing that happy face which brings a smile to mine.

For some people, even though a pet is not a person, they are still a member of the family. My husband and I have two dogs (Bugatti & Natayla), three horses (Romeo, Jester & Ginger) and a rat (Raptor). We do not have children, but our pets are our “fur babies.” Some days our dogs travel with my husband to work and hang-out at the shop to greet the customers (often licking them to relentlessly). When cooking dinner in the evening, our rat has free roam in the kitchen, grabbing crumbs that may fall. And every once in a while, we find a horse hanging out on our back porch peeking into the window and nibbling on grass along the side of the house (“free lawn mowers” as my husband calls them).

Even though pets cannot speak, they seem to know our moods. When I have a really bad day, they seem to know exactly how make me feel better by the wag of their tail, a whinny and nicker greeting at the barn, or a little hop onto the cage door.

For many pet owners, when their animals are sick or injured, they provide them with the best of care until they are feeling better and are healed. And just like losing a person in their family or a close friend, the feeling of devastation and loss comes over them just the same when the family member has four legs instead of two.

As a pet owner, I chose a cremation service when we lost our two rats. They are in a wonderful wooden urn with flowers engraved on the top with their names on a brass plate. This helped to keep my babies at home, and to pay tribute to their lives.

As a funeral director, I see the same display of love for four-legged family members from those I serve at the funeral home. Families choose pet memorial services, burials or cremations, showing the same care and love that others show for people. It is a way they can honor the love they received unconditionally while their pets were alive.

The hidden treasures found in chauffeuring my kids to practice

Fri, 19 Jun 2015 04:00:00 GMT

Like many parents with children that graduated form high school this spring, my wife and I enter a summer filled with transition and change. Our daughter is taking her next step toward independence and adulthood as she prepares to leave for college at the same time our son completes eighth grade and gets ready to enter high school. In the midst of these events, Father’s Day this year will have a bit of a different feel for me, and I find myself thinking about my own father’s influence on the dad I became.

My wife and I knew the changes with our kids were coming, but we both have said the years have passed so quickly and that looking back, it sort of sneaked up on us. I have been giving a lot of thought over the past few months to how time has passed and thinking about the job I have done as a father. I hope I gave my kids the attention, support and direction they need to continue to branch out on their own.

As my kids grew into young adults, I found myself looking for, and enjoying, some more simple things with them; an unexpected chat about their day, sitting on the back deck together, throwing ball in the backyard or going for some ice cream. These were things we did a lot when they were younger, before the activities got bigger and faster (and more expensive). It’s funny how we’ve come back around full circle to enjoy the “basics” again.

The simplicity of being together with my kids has grown more valuable to me as a father, while the nature of the activity takes on less importance.

For example, my involvement as a 7th/8th grade lacrosse coach puts me on the same field as my son who plays at that level. As the season passed, I was glad for the opportunity to watch him practice and play from a close vantage point. But the most enjoyable part was the ten-minute ride home after practice each night — laughing together, hearing him talk about how he and the team played, and seeing the glimmer dance in his animated eyes as he spoke. I kept it my secret of how much I enjoyed that time.

After his death I realized that he enjoyed those simple times with me, just as I now find myself doing with Hilary and Mitch. Perhaps these simple moments are a parent’s way of trying to slow down the inevitable march of time, allowing them to try to hold onto a bit of the past while simultaneously accepting the future.

I have a feeling I will be looking for as many of these moments as I can over the next four years.

And treasuring them.

The healing power of the three F’s

Thu, 07 May 2015 04:00:00 GMT

We are very lucky to live in such a wonderful country. In the United States of America, we have the freedom to practice our religion and faith without the fear of being arrested or prosecuted. We also have the best health care system in the world.

We have the best doctors, nurses and hospitals and we get the brightest and smartest people from all walks of life and ethnic backgrounds to practice medicine here. People come from all over the world to be treated by our medical professionals.

Combining faith and medicine can be very powerful. When you face an illness, having faith gives you something in which to believe and that in turn gives you hope. Hope is a very powerful ally that can provide inner strength during difficult times.

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.”

When people or their loved ones get sick, they can go through a range of experiences. First is usually the shock of the news. Then meetings with doctors are scheduled to discuss the diagnosis and prognosis. Treatments can be long and hard on the patient.

But through it all, people of faith pray for God’s healing power. They also pray to give the doctors the inner strength to help the patients and to guide them through the medical procedures.

Beginning late last year, my wife and I both had some medical issues. We both put a lot of faith in God and our medical team. It was not easy because we wanted answers and to heal as quickly as possible, but we had to put a lot of faith in the path and timeline that the doctors presented. A strong circle of family and friends is also important, and we are so lucky to have both.

I believe there is healing power in what I call the three F’s: Faith, Family and Friends (plus a wonderful team of physicians…that’s almost an F). It is amazing how many people were praying for us. Prayer is so powerful.

Thank God we both are on the mend and getting back to being ourselves. I can say that I am proud to be an American living in the USA, and proud to be Catholic. I pray that our wonderful country never loses the principals on which it was founded.

The Rewards of Caring for Others

Tue, 24 Feb 2015 05:00:00 GMT

My profession as a Funeral Director defines a lot of who I am because I am required to care for people during very difficult times. Walking with a family following the loss of their loved one is a special and personal experience. This experience is shared by all of us who are entrusted with caring for both the deceased and their family.

The responsibility that a family bestows upon us places their burdens and uncertainties squarely on our shoulders to bear and sort out. My personal commitment to that responsibility is often returned to me tenfold in the rewards I receive from the families I serve.

These rewards can be a handshake, a hug, a pat on the shoulder, a tear, a smile, a kiss, a spoken thank you or a nice card. An emotionally given reward, regardless of how simple, is extremely gratifying to receive.

The most powerful rewards often come from families when our initial meeting is emotionally charged with distress, grief, frustration or even anger. Strong emotions can be directed at me simply because I am the one who assists families through very difficult situations that require hard decisions to be made.

In any case, when a reward comes my way I know that I have successfully cared for the deceased and their family.

I stay committed to assisting families as they walk through the situations facing them. I guide them through choices so they can make the best decisions for themselves, and then make their decisions happen.

At the conclusion of a service that has been difficult for a family it is not unusual for me to receive a reward, and also hear the words “I hope I don’t see you again” or “I don’t want to come back here again.” I never take those statements personally. If I provided the proper care, I know I may have the honor of assisting the family again in the future.

To be chosen to serve them again may be the most important reward I receive.

Combating Grief Around the Holidays

Mon, 22 Dec 2014 05:00:00 GMT

Honoring the loved ones lost each year at our Candle of Love Service

Mon, 24 Nov 2014 05:00:00 GMT

As you all know, Thanksgiving is this Thursday, November 27. It’s usually an exciting time, filled with love, laughter, family, friends, and yummy food. My sincere hope is that that each of you will be enjoying the holiday the best way you can, and that you can find something to be extra thankful for this year.

But we know this time of year can be difficult for families that have lost a loved one, and that family traditions may seem different. Because of this, we invite all the families we have served in the past year to gather together in remembrance and celebration of all our loved ones lost. It is during this special time of year that we hold our annual Light a Candle of Love Holiday Memorial Service.

Families and friends come together in the memory of their loved one in a beautiful, touching, and non-denominational service. The service is then followed by a small reception. It also gives the Snyder Funeral Home staff the opportunity to thank families for allowing us to serve them.

My Dad, Mom, and staff at the time started this tradition almost 20 years ago, and I am happy to still hold it today. It is one of the highlights of my year, as it’s a joyful time to gather with the families we met and served in sadder times.

For all of us at The Charles F. Snyder Funeral Home, Thanksgiving is an opportunity to be mindful of all the wonderful families that we have served and touched in the past year. We value that each of them have placed their trust in us during such a personal and difficult time in their lives.

I strive to never lose sight of the importance of helping families during their time of need, and I seem to be mindful of that more around the holidays.

Feel free to attend our annual Light A Candle of Love service on Monday, December 1st, whether you have lost a loved one this year or not. And if I don’t see you at the event, I wish you and your loved ones a wonderful, healthy, and happy Thanksgiving.

R.S.V.P to the Light a Candle of Love Service via email >

Dying With Dignity: Brittany Maynard’s Story

Thu, 13 Nov 2014 05:00:00 GMT

Brittany Maynard started making headlines in October 2014, and she has generated a lot of conversation on both sides of the issue of dying with dignity. Since I learned of it it, it’s fascinated me. Maybe it’s because she is around the same age as I, or maybe it’s because I am a nurse.

Even a month into educating myself on Brittany’s story and the dying/death with dignity laws in our country, I have yet to formulate a clear personal opinion on the matter. It’s a difficult, deeply emotional and personal subject, and one that is highly controversial. It’s not unlike other polarized issues that face us in the end stages of life, such as Hospice or Palliative care, do not resuscitate orders, or even cremation. There are always two sides to every coin.

Brittany was a twenty-nine year old woman who was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer in the beginning of 2014. She had been suffering from severe headaches, and was finally diagnosed with a Stage IV Glioblastoma. She had brain surgery, but unfortunately a short time later the cancer came back with a vengeance. She was given months to live.

Brittany was a newlywed, living and working in San Francisco. Sometime after her diagnosis, she moved her family to Portland in order to have her choice protected under Oregon’s “Death with Dignity” law . Currently, only three states (Oregon, Vermont and Washington) allow competent adults to legally pursue medically-assisted deaths. In Oregon, there are strict eligibility requirements for the consenting adults and physician involved.

Brittany researched her disease, saw the bottom line, and wanted to take her death into her own hands. She set a date, November 1, 2014, and proceeded with her plan.

Even after following her plans discussed through videos on social media , I was shocked to hear on the morning of November 2nd that she had actually gone through with her plan. I guess I give this young woman a lot of courage to bring this subject matter to the forefront of our media right up until her last day, and for sticking to her personal plan. I am not sure I could have done the same.

It’s hard to even think about putting myself in her shoes, and I hope I would never have to. I’d like to think I would want to fight until my last breathe, but then again I am not Brittany, and right now I’m not faced with what she was. But her struggle has helped the country see that this is a choice that some citizens want for themselves.

Brittany Maynard started the nationwide conversation, and now she turned it over to everyone else. No matter what side of the debate you’re on, this is real and it’s relevant, and it requires that we all keep the conversation going.

Personal family connections to the armed services

Mon, 22 Sep 2014 04:00:00 GMT

Female funeral directors in an historically male-dominated industry

Fri, 29 Aug 2014 04:00:00 GMT

I just finished reading Sheryl Sandberg’s controversial but acclaimed book “Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead.” It wasn’t necessarily an eye opener for me – I knew women faced gender-related challenges in the workforce – but it definitely was a motivator. It ignited in me the notion that women can and should have it all.

As a workingwoman, I wear many hats; registered nurse, aspiring blogger, wife, dog owner, sister, daughter, friend, volunteer. Like almost all workingwomen, I sometimes struggle to find my balance. But imagine juggling all your roles and responsibilities as a woman while working in an almost completely male-dominated industry?

Unlike the nursing profession, the funeral profession has considerably more male licensed directors than female directors. I still recall the first female funeral director that my father Chip hired. It was the late 1980s, and it was a game changer for me.

Having grown up above the King Street funeral home, I was always meandering downstairs to visit with the Snyder Funeral Home employees. Once this female funeral director was hired, she became my idol as well as my friend. She leveled the playing field for me in regards to women in the working world. She could stand on her own surrounded by a mostly male staff. She also offered a whole new perspective on funerals, planning, and service to families, adding a woman’s opinion to the industry.

Since that first female hire, my father and brother have consistently employed female funeral directors at the funeral home. There are currently three licensed females on staff; Tabitha (Huff) Lindsay , Jackie Adamson , and Kelly Townsend , (Susan Sensenich retired a few years ago, but remains per diem).

All four of them wear many hats, manage many responsibilities, and make an enormous impact in this male-dominated profession. They work with such compassion, care, and grace helping families every day.

According to the National Funeral Directors Association, 57% of students studying mortuary science today are female . So even though it still appears that men dominate this industry, I think it’s safe to say that the industry is “leaning in”, and beginning to value the female presence. And while I didn’t follow in their footsteps to become a funeral director, I did choose another service profession that I love very much – nursing.

Both professions have a mission to help and serve people in their time of need, and I feel honored to be associated with both types of licensed professionals. So as we all juggle our many hats, I’d like to say special “hats off” to all the female funeral directors out there!

Returning to “normal” after a funeral

Sun, 20 Jul 2014 04:00:00 GMT

While browsing the Internet recently, I came across an interesting article about attending funerals. It opened my eyes to a whole new perspective on grief.

We all know that attending a funeral can be difficult. Whether it was a friend, neighbor, or co-worker, many of us try to muster up the courage to pay our respects to the family. We drop off a meal soon after the services, share a few thoughts and prayers in their memory, and sometimes donate money in their honor. Rarely, unless it involves us personally, do we think past the immediate time following the funeral. We remember the person that passed during the funeral and memorial service, but less often do we focus on what happens after the fact. It’s hard to picture the family settling into their new “normal.”

Growing up surrounded by the funeral business, many times I heard from my family or the Snyder Funeral home staff tell families “and now comes the hard part.” Once the initial shock of the death and the services dies down, a new normal sets in for them. While some days may pass with less sadness, others will be writhed with memories of dates, birthdays, anniversaries, and special times.

This is when grief sets in and becomes overbearing. This is when friends and family are needed most.

In my opinion, one of the most important aspects of helping a loved one grieve is simply giving them proper time and space to grieve. Everyone grieves differently, and people’s methods of grief can certainly change over time. Grief can be a learned emotion, and for many it will be a completely new emotion as well. So be kind. Give them support, but also give them space. Just being there is more than they even know how to ask.

So I ask of you all, next time you need to attend a funeral, pay your respects, return home to your normal, but keep your friend and family at the forefront of your mind. Not for the time being, but for a while, and help them adjust to their new normal.